CelebrityFIST!

Okay, for this Sex Tape Sunday, I concede that this one is kinda cheating.  That is Karla Edecan is a not exactly world famous.  Specifically, she’s a spokesmodel for a telecom company in Mexico and a cheerleader for a baseball team in Tijuana.

Look it’s the Saints won and I’m happy as a pig in shit right now, so cut me some slack for this round.  It’ll be better next week. Read the rest of this entry »

No, they’re NOT droppings!

1. I still hate the true ‘chaos engine’ that is the American legal system
2. Never park your car in a tow away zone even if your female friend thinks its ‘a good idea’
3. HOWEVER, if your car gets towed while helping said female you get a free blowjob (writing that one down)

Now a lesson for you.  The above is a picture of saladitos.  Literally ‘little salted things’; in this case salted dried-out apricots.  This is what I like to ‘eat’ with my Dos Equis.  They’re salty as hell (imagine a teaspoon of salt, no really) so they make you thirsty; but what to drink?  Dos Equis!  Yeah, this will get you shitfaced guaranteed (and the hangovers are killer - especially after you piss all your water away leaving your brain in alcohol and salt).

Okay, so while I “brine my brain” here’s some good chit. Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »

Feeling a little … primal today.  Probably because I get to go to court.  No, I didn’t get into trouble again.  Nah, a friend of mine got into a some minor ‘disagreement’ with the popo so I’m going as consigliere.  Still, courts make me feel VERY uncomfortable.

So I’ve been listening to the above song since I got home.  You might be familiar with the version that Paul Revere and The Raiders did.  Well John D. Loudermilk wrote the original.  Good shit, if you ask me.

I don’t do ‘theme’ posts.  Well at least I didn’t til today.  Purely by accident too.  I was uploading my pics for this post and I realized that the first four of the five sets were blonde.  Kinda weird since I’m not much into blondes (as you know redheads are my kryptonite).  Anyway, I decided that I hate to break a set; so if you like blondes - this is definitely the post to bookmark.  Enjoy! Read the rest of this entry »

Well the nominees are out for the Oscars which televise … eh, sometime later this year I’m sure.  Who cares?  Its always a boring thing anyway.  If I’m off (and I usually am) I will be LIVE blogging the sordid fest yet again.  I have a feeling I’m going to make a drinking game out of everytime someone mentions “Avatar” or “James Cameron” - which would be cool since I’m sure I’d fall asleep on the keyboard 30 minutes in.

Anyway, planning later.  Nominees now.  Here they are: Read the rest of this entry »

500g spaghetti, 30ml olive oil, 250g lean hedgehog, 1 medium onion (chopped), 125ml water, 60ml dry white wine, 4 eggs, 60ml double cream, 100g grated parmesan cheese

• chop hedgehog into small chunks

• beat eggs and cream together in a bowl. Add half the parmesan cheese

• put pasta in boiling water

• put onions and hedgehog chunks in pan with olive oil on medium heat until onions are almost clear

• add wine and reduce heat

• drain pasta when cooked, combine it with egg, cream and cheese mix

• add meat, onions and wine without draining fat and mix thoroughly

• garnish with remaining parmesan

• serve immediately

What?  You thought I was joking!?

Anyway, here’s some eyecandy (if you can stomach it).  Read the rest of this entry »

3 Comments »

Feb 02 2010

Celebrity Goodies For 02/02/10 (Hedgehog Day Ed.)

Posted by: Chaoz in On The Carpet, Out and About, Whore-lywood, Celebrity Goodies, Photoshoots

Happy Hedgehog Day from ChaozCentral.  What?  “Groundhog Day”?  Nah, we don’t these lame ass holidays here.  Instead of the fat ass groundhog we use a lovely hedgehog we found on the side of the road in Tuscaloosa.  So his name is ‘Tuscaloosa Tim’.  And no, we don’t check the fucking weather with Tim.  Nope, the rules are simple - if Tim talks, every man will get a blowjob in the next 24 hours.  If he doesn’t talk, we no such luck.

Let’s see … Okay Tim - DO YOUR STUFF!

“…”

C’mon.  Just one syllable.

“…”

SHIT, well maybe next time guys!  How about some eyecandy instead!  Tomorrow, I’ll be showing you how to hedgehog burgers!!  Bon Appetit!  Pics after the jump!! Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Feb 02 2010

Pink At The Grammys - DO NOT WANT ALERT!!!

Posted by: Chaoz in Fuglies, Fashion Failures, Awards

Yeah, normally, I wouldn’t put these pics up even if you put a gun to my head.  However, is an effort to keep an “open mind” (or “fractured mind” once looking at this pictures)  I decided to post them with a big DNW alert.

What could possibly be so offensive?  Easy.  Pink.  Performing at the Grammys.  In a … well … a see-thru leotard with white straps around it.  Performing what I can only assume is a Cirque De Soliel-inspired set.  I’d hunt the video but I’m afraid my testicles will permanently retract (as it is now; I’m speaking three octaves higher than normal).

So *ugh* without further ado.  Enjoy?  (Remember you WERE warned) Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Feb 02 2010

Song Of The Day: “Everybody Hurts” (Helping Haiti vs. R.E.M.) & A Rant (Goody!)

Posted by: Chaoz in ANFNR

Okay doesn’t matter how I play this, this is gonna sound like an asshole talking.  But since I’m an asshole, no harm done. Read the rest of this entry »

5 Comments »

Jan 31 2010

Going Going… - Alison Brie At Her Complex Mag Shoot

Posted by: Chaoz in Celebrity Goodies, Photoshoots

We here at ChaozCentral strive to bring you shit no one wants you to see.  Like this photoshoot video from Complex Magazine with Alison Brie.  Frankly I have no idea who she is, the video is way short, and the magazine is too small to be important.

However, since they’ve been deleting the video left and right we feel it is ‘important’ for you to see (at least till it gets deleted as well).

3 Comments »

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