CelebrityFIST!

For all you lurkers out there (and those of you who bookmarked this).  My sincere apologies.  I’ve finally got fed up with this old version of Wordpress and ‘migrated’ to another blog.

(actually, its just another blog on my same website, so TECHNICALLY I’ve moved ‘down the hall’ as it were)

Unfortunately, I’ve been so busy repairing the damage at work (don’t ask) and tinkering with the new blog that …. FUCK i forgot to fucking say anything.

Come by my hometown and I’ll buy you a 12 pack of Dos Equis.  Fair enough?

For what it’s worth, the new blog looks different but handles media like a charm and a LOT faster to work with.  Also, BRITNEY has a home of her own and GUESS WHAT you can post on it!  (ie no more redirecting)

So how to get there?  Simple:  http://www.celebrityfist.com  (it just redirects to the new blog)

I’ll keep an eye on the ‘old’ one here for a while to guide any stragglers.

I hope you continue to come on over and party on down.  …. except NOT like the guy up in the picture. 

Just thought I throw this in cause I’d hate to have to look for the pics again.

No comments.  Just pics.

Emma Rigby; Rory Lewis Photoshoot

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley; Harper’s Bazaar Russia (05/2010)

Cindy Crawford; Harper’s Bazaar Russia (05/2010)

Ewe Sonnet; Red Lingerie & Fireplace

Cody Love; Grey Scarf & Ivory Lingerie

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.  I’m on beer 5, Patron is waiting for me and why is it that everytime I have more than 5 people in my life I have to *snip* self-baleeted for content

Demi Moore; outside David Letterman Show (04/20/2010) - it’s too bad she’s such a twat otherwise she’d still be worth fapping too (for a Barbie doll)

Kellita Smith; Stuff US (02/2003) - only because we need more black women on the site.  And I DO love’em dark (and lite, and mocha, and cream, and red, and …)

Rie Rasmussen; Elle US (05/2010) - there a bunch of sets in Elle this month.  All shit except for this one.

Kate Bosworth; Palm Springs (04/19/2010) - She looks good for a 14-year-old.  Uh, too bad she’s 28. 

Lets end on an ‘up’ note:  Ashley Roberts; washing her car in Santa Monica (04/19/2010) - HOLY SHIT!  Btw, someone forgot to block out her license plate in pic #8.  OOPS!

Okay that got boring real quick (I guess since I don’t do the stuff).  So let me throw out the one song I like to rely on when times are rough or when my 420 friends (and I have actually quite a few) knock me for JUST doing alcohol.

BTW, I’ve got Red Stripe (instead of Dos Equis) and Patron Anejo (if you’re going to drink tequila - do it right).

Happy 4-20 everyone.  For the uninitiated, 420 is commonly the term used to refer to marijuana.  Its origins are kinda murky but seems to goes back to people meeting after school someplace to get high (around 4:20pm).  Since then the numbers themselves now refer to marijuana in general and many places ‘celebrate’ 4/20 of each year but … well, getting stoned.

Chaoz has never done pot.  Not once.  Nunca.  Does he WISH he could smoke a blunt?  Dude, if it was legal I’d be GROWING the shit most likely.  Quit my regular gig and just look like Eric Stoltz in a t-shirt and bathrobe. … But it ain’t, so I’m not.

That said, we’re gonna do our best today to ‘celebrate’ 4/20 in the proper way.  I thought I’d get started by letting you all know that the Cheech and Chong gig that I saw so many months ago has FINALLY hit.  Here’s a trailer for it.  The DVD is called “Hey Watch This!”.  I’m not in the trailer (sadly).  If I was I’d tell you.

Quick note - during the ‘driving’ skit the backscreen actually projects real streets here (mostly on the Hispanic side, natch).  Fuckin’ hilarious to us here though obviously 99.999% of everyone who sees it won’t get that little easter egg.

Actual conversation at this moment:

Cock: Let’s go out.  Chaoz: No, we’re staying in for a change.  Plus we have to go on Wednesday to the club anyway.  I want tits on me.  NO.  I need a blowjob.  Jesus!  You got 4 on Friday?  WTF?  I’m horny.  You’re ALWAYS horny!  Damn, you are such a -   …dick?  Shut up.

Anyway before I lose the argument… Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah I know I rarely post solo stuff anymore.  But I’ll make an exception here because of - well, it’s WEIRD!

This is Sarah Hyland.  She is at the “Furry Vengeance” premiere in Westwood on 04/18/10.  Originally these were going straight to the dumpster for - what I thought - was underage.

Uh-uh, she’s 20.  … Twenty?  … Really??  (checks Wiki)

Nope, 20.  So I thought I’d post them and ask you guys if she looks legal - cause to me she sure as hell doesn’t.

You know, if you look at this long enough it almost makes sense.  But what do I know?  I’m nuts.

Anyway, in case you’re brain is refusing to register this image (and with good reason) its Betty White in a metal bikini wielding a flaming chainsaw as she rides a centaur John Ritter.  Really.  And its was ACTUALLY published:

The Portland Mercury, an entertainment magazine in Portland, Oregon, asked readers to take a poll about what they’d like to see on the cover of an issue. Artist Andrew Zubko executed their vision with this magnificent illustration.

I may have to consider moving to Portland because I thought my head was screwed on wrong. 

I am SO going to Hell at this point.  I think even my scruples have said “Fuck this, I’m outta here.” 

[I had a long post of current events but will post it more discreetly - sorry]

Anyway, I’ve been out partying the last few days and this is probably the first time I’ve been sober since Thursday afternoon (I keep thinking today’s Tuesday).  Fiesta does bring the ‘chaos’ outta Chaoz here.

Here’s a song that summarizes some stuff I’m going thru: