CelebrityFIST!

Apparently, Mischa Barton - who said previously she wanted to quit Hollywood - just can’t seem to leave it.  Of course, that’s kinda hard to do when you’re high and drunk.  Makes finding the highway a little difficult.

A West Hollywood police source tells TMZ that when she was arrested, Mischa Barton blew a .12 on her breathalyzer test, admitted to smoking marijuana earlier that day (which cops found in her car) and had what cops say looked like prescription drugs in her car — in an unlabeled bottle. What’s the problem, officer?

Barton was popped at 2:45 AM Thursday in West Hollywood. Cops pulled her over after they witnessed her “straddling two lanes of traffic and failed to signal when making a turn.”

She was arrested on suspicion of DUI, possession of narcotics and driving on a suspended license. Barton was taken to the West Hollywood Sheriff’s station and was released on $10,000 bail. (source)

Actually a .12 is nothing.  Well, it’s illegal; but you’re still semi-coherent.  However, if you’ve been doing the grass - that’s not gonna help matters.  It’s not like you should go … “damn I’m high.  I need something to bring me down!  I know!  Liquor and drugs!”

And why go driving?  Nowadays, don’t restaurants have delivery service to avoid driving when the munchies attack???  Silly retarded ‘actress’.

…And it was this point that the trend needed to stop.

Heavily pregnant t.A.T.u. star Julia Volkova has stunned Russian fans by posing in nothing but her knickers for a new Maxim magazine shoot. The sultry singer and bandmate Lena Katina posed in their lingerie for the spread, which graces the new issue of Russia’s Maxim. Wearing nothing but black panties, Volkova, who is expecting her first child early in 2008, covers her breasts in the provocative photos, while redhead Katina kneels on a bed beside her bandmate, wearing red knickers and a matching bustier. The Russian pop stars agreed to pose for the saucy shoot to promote their new album Waste Management. Volkova isn’t the only pregnant star currently gracing a top magazine - Christina Aguilera can be seen showing off her baby bump on the cover and inside the new Marie Claire. (source)

Okay, the first hundred times were okay. Now? Umm, this seems to be what happens when you take erotic pictures of your Thanksgiving turkey. Oy.

Now with video!

I simply don’t get the French. I mean eat a lot of their traditional food: French fries, French bread, French dressing; but I don’t get THEM. I mean the just award Miss France and already their pissed off at her because of her past:

The winner of this year’s Miss France contest has been ordered to resign just days into her reign, after a magazine published provocative photographs taken early in her modelling career. Valerie Begue, 22, a student from the French Indian Ocean island of Reunion, returned home triumphant after her win earlier this month (Dec07). But her joy was short-lived after event organisers took exception to pictures, taken three years ago but only published last week, of her floating on a crucifix in a swimming pool and eating yogurt in way deemed lewd by contest officials. Genevieve de Fontenay, 75, a former model who has run the event since the 1950s, has demanded that Begue be stripped of her crown - just two weeks after claiming it. She says, “I don’t understand how she can have had the cheek to enter the competition when she knew perfectly well the ethical rules of Miss France. “I have no desire to see her again. I certainly cannot see myself going around France escorted by a woman like that. As she is from Reunion, let her stay there!” The dramatic step has caused uproar in Begue’s native Reunion, with local radio stations inundated with angry supporters of the model. Begue herself is distraught, and claims to have been “betrayed” by whoever sold the pictures to Entrevue magazine. She tells France’s Le Parisien magazine, “I was never happy with those pictures. They were a mistake that I regret bitterly. But now the wonderful year I had ahead of me is going up in smoke.” (source)

In case you didn’t read all that (and I didn’t): “Why did she join the contest when we don’t allow such ‘riff raff’” and then it was followed by some snail-eating and wine-drinking.

UPDATE:  The organizers of the contest have decided to have mercy on her and allow her to retain her crown.  On the other hand, she is not allowed to compete in the Miss World and Miss Universe contests (you mean they’re different???).  Nah, Miss New Calendonia gets to have that honor.  She’s the lass down below.

I say this much - she has nice gums.

Because some things are too fucked up to add anything to.

Michael Jackson reportedly underwent emergency surgery after his young son accidentally punched him in the face. The Thriller hitmaker - who has undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries on his face in the past - was recently photographed in a Los Angeles bookstore wearing numerous bandages around his mouth. But sources tell Finditt.com the singer’s son, Prince Michael II, caused the injury: “He was whacked in the face accidentally by his younger son Prince Michael II while playing around and part of Jackson’s upper lip collapsed. “That mishap led a hysterical Jacko to make a beeline for the plastic surgeon for a bit of quickie repair work.” (source)

Yeah, nothing like getting hit by you kid and having your face fall off.  Kinda gives the “Got your nose!” routine a whole new spin.

Simply a reminder that I would like it to be known that if there ever existed a male equivalent to Paris Hilton it’s this idiot.  Not only is he a no-talent hack, but is a big fat pussy (and not even the good type):

Carson Daly says he became the first late-night talk-show host to return to the air because “an ultimatum was put in front of me” by NBC execs. In an interview appearing in today’s Los Angeles Times Daly said the ultimatum was “Put a new show on Dec. 3 or 75 people are fired. What’s your answer?” Daly says he has been fending off a barrage of criticism ever since he returned to the air. “It’s been a nightmare,” he told the newspaper, adding that “people thought I had a choice … as if I waned to come back, and come back without my writers. He declined to name the NBC execs who issued the order to him.  (source)

“Declined” my ass, the suits gave him an excuse to use when after the heat got to much for him.  Yeah, yeah, I know that the others are coming back; but this dick caved in a month ahead of time.  More likely, they told him “Yeah, you come back or your next words are ‘you want fries with that?’”

Dick.

Sorry I haven’t posted the last couple of days.  Things have been difficult in the “real world”.  Apparently, one of my co-workers is in a shitload of trouble.  Frankly, I couldn’t give a shit, BUT someone then has to work his schedule.

Needless to say, I’m bitchy about it right now.

But on the other hand, I shall relentless blog as much as I can over the next couple of hours (while the alcohol holds out) and see what happens…

BY THE WAY - apparently the above video is considered one of the top virals for 2007.  Never seen it before today, but it’s hilarious as hell (even if it’s only 5 seconds long).  Enjoy, “peeples”!

Bonus - Daft Punk’s “Harder Better Faster Stronger” done by a couple of girls in their undies.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

Right now, I’m still buzzing from all the egg nog I drank so I’m too tired to go over the latest insanity about Britney (something about sleeping with a pap or something). So instead of that hard hitting news I give you Britney’s nipples, which seem to have become bird-like since they want to fly south for the winter.