CelebrityFIST!

Redhead Christina Hendricks looking “chest right” at 10th Annual Costume Awards

Candice Swanepoel is about 70% leg isn’t she … you’re not even listening to me, are you?

Megan Fox looking sensuous (not that she’s really capable of anything else)…

Francisca De Rose in Fox Magazine (Italy).  Yummy!

And, lastly Roselyn Sanchez looking red hot in blue.

I like big boobs and I cannot lie … but goddamn!  It almost appears that Christina Aguilera’s milk jugs are S T R E T C H I N G her skin to the limit!  If you look carefully you can actually see the blood cells flowing through the veins.  Niiiiiiiiice.  Oh and make sure you show them off, too.
Actually, I think she doubles as a GPS system when her hubby goes driving.  Yeah, go down the vein and make a left at the nipple.  And just go 3 blocks past the nipplehair.

If feel kinda bad though that this isn’t the “old” Christina; she probably would have popped those puppies out and gone “Who wants a milk shower!?”  I would have had a glass ready.

It’s Keeley Hazell’s boobs; we just live in them…

Kate Beckinsale shrink-wrapped at a Oscar viewing party.  “Viewing party”?  So I guess I’d be underdressed in my wifebeater shirt and polkadot boxers???

Lastly, Jodi Marsh (not) wearing the preferred Oscar viewing apparel.  Hell, why even have TV on?  She’s got the “Golden Globes” and I’ve got my “statuette” - we’d all be winners!

Once upon time / in a galaxy real fuckin’ far away…
Well, here is the obligatory Britney post.  I post it only because something actually happened (not the normal “Britney takes a dump on the sidewalk” crap).  In this case she actually saw her kids after about - what, 3 years or something?  Anyway, the NO one was taking any chances on this…

For the first time in nearly two months, the beleaguered pop star had face-to-face contact with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, during a Saturday morning, court-monitored visit, sources confirm to E! News.

Aside from Spears and a court-appointed monitor, there were several other key personnel on hand, including: Britney’s father, Jamie Spears; a Federline security guard; and a lawyer from the Luce Forward law firm, which is handling Britney’s conservatorship for Jamie Spears.

According to an insider, the 26-year-old pop star was not permitted to take the boys, ages two and one, into another room without the others watching.

The ground rules for the visitation were hammered out Friday night, by lawyers for Luce Forward and ex-husband Kevin Federline. (source)

The sad part is that she needs all that supervision.  Miss Looney Tunes is liable to take the kids move to Tijuana, become part of the “donkey show” and have the kids out there on the streets selling tequila lollypops to passing tourists.  It’s okay if they still can’t talk coherently anyway; the tourists would think they’re just speaking Spanish.

Macy’s give the Brook Hogan balloon a test run for the Thanksgiving Parade 

In a stunning reversal, it appears that Brooke Hogan, the rumored daughter of Hulk Hogan (aka Terry something-or-other) is indeed a female. Not a tranny after all (though those in the “post-op” camp are still not quite convinced)! While feminists and scientists argue the ramifications of this starting discovery; I thought I’d go and post up the pictures that brought about this news.

Okay, so I’m just a little late…

Elle Macpherson looking absolutely smoking at 44 (that’s a double joke!).

Marlee Matlin at the Oscars last night … with Steve Guttenberg!!???? WTF?

Vida Guerra and friend … no, wait; that’s her ass.

Anne Hathaway in Ella Enchanted promos … I’m guessing she’s a milk maid?

Catrinel Meghia in FHM.  I can’t remember if I posted these already.  If I did, I’m sorry.  If I didn’t, I’m REALLY sorry!

(REDHEAD ALERT!) Danneel Harris marvelous in Maxim (3/08).

AND last and least (size-wise only), the munchkin MILF; Kristen Chenoweth (at the Oscars)

Another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody…

…except my terabyte harddrive.

Remember to pace yourselves, enjoy! (more…)

Megan Fox the ‘other’ tattooed goddess working it in Milan.

Gianne Albertoni flood:  she’s a Brazilian model who was giving Naomi Campbell and Claudia Schiffer a run for their money — when she was only 13!  She’s 26 now.

To offset that, how about Rhian Sudgen showing off her vertical smile!

Olivia Munn’s tits are hanging onto dear life at the Semi-Pro premiere.

Last but NOT least today, Abi Titmuss shows us how to pose totally nude and still not show anything.  I’ll take what I can get…

Sorry for missing yesterday, late night at work and all…

Bai Ling got arrested the other day for shoplifting.  In her ‘honor’, pics from late ‘05 when she was still hot and not quite as insane.

Julianne Moore, ready to give us tea (though I’d prefer nibbling on her cookie).

Former Miss Universe (2004) Jennifer Hawkins, looking lovely in orange and her brass knuckle(?) - check the right hand.

Cindy Crawford in B&W (& Hot) in GQ Italy.

Christina Ricci looking quite good in these pics (I still say her neck looks elongated, though).

AND last, but infintely NOT least; goddess/lust object/future Mrs. Chaoz: Keeley Hazell.  Proof that God is a dude.

Katherine McPhee’s latest product endorsement
Pink is divorcing Corey Hart (Celebslam) - like this is a fucking surprise.  Same sex marriages fail so often nowadays. … What?

Britney case may go Federal (Contactmusic) - Jesus, just what we need.  More of our fucking tax dollars at work.

Non-Jew Jesse McCartney uses Jewish Dating Site (ContactMusic) - I don’t know who he is, but I can assure you he’s just looking for an easy lay.

Jamie Lynn Spears:  Pregnant.  And Grounded (Popsugar) - That’s a good idea: ground the bitch AFTER she gets knocked up!

Britney flashes her gash! Part LXIX (DListed) - This was interesting the first 68 times…

Kelly Brook is gonna bottle her juice (The Sun) - I’m guessing it takes like apples…