CelebrityFIST!

Okay you nitwits.  Who broke the thread … AGAIN?  Sheesh, I’m gone just a few days and you guys go around and break the damn thing.  Way to go. 

Well, as I sit here and ponder if we’re going to get that thing started again (or maybe Brendon and his little peon have had enough of us) - I’ve decided to park my ass over here.  Just you THIS thread for the latest rant.

BTW, for those who are reading this and have NOOOO idea what I’m talking about .. well I’m not about to explain it all.  Just read and hopefully it will make sense.

…At the very least it’ll be the ravings of a madman. 

Okay you nitwits.  Who broke the thread … AGAIN?  Sheesh, I’m gone just a few days and you guys go around and break the damn thing.  Way to go. 

Well, as I sit here and ponder if we’re going to get that thing started again (or maybe Brendon and his little peon have had enough of us) - I’ve decided to park my ass over here.  Just you THIS thread for the latest rant.

BTW, for those who are reading this and have NOOOO idea what I’m talking about .. well I’m not about to explain it all.  Just read and hopefully it will make sense.

…At the very least it’ll be the ravings of a madman. 

This was made a couple of days ago…

Penelope Cruz nude in “Elegy”.  Guess that’s one reason to watch it.

Gemma Atkinson in Nuts! Magazine (Sep 08)

Kendra Wilkinson looking whorish and chesty at the TAG kickoff party (Sep 08)

Rachel Weisz shows off her furry eyebrows in the TIFF Portraits

Jessica Biel is looking hot in the same TIFF Portraits

Well, I WAS gonna say something funny about this but I just got a call.  I gotta go in as people are filling up the shelters here from Houston and Galveston.  So much for an easy day.

So, have a chuckle on this spoof of Gina Gershon as Sarah Palin.

Gotta go.  Take care.

And just a few months, she swallowing dicks like a porn star. *sniff*

Well, everyone’s my favorite wanking material Lindsay Lohan is all grown up. She’s gone from starring in bad kids movies, to starring in bad teen movies, to starring in bad adult movies. She’s gone from a pixie smile to a cum-ridden smile.

Now she’s got an engagement ring and marrying her girlfriend. Ah, sunrise…sunset.

…WHAT!!!!?

SAMANTHA RONSON says that she WILL marry lesbian lover LINDSAY LOHAN in the next six months.

Sam used her DJ slot at top LA hotel and night spot Chateau Marmont to announce the news, telling clubbers: “By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs Ronson.”

She added: “Tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world.” (Sun)

No shit. Don’t underestimate a woman’s ability to fuck up EVERYTHING! Don’t believe me lets look at the ‘happy couple’.

…

Seriously this chick looks more like a dude than Hilary Swank (and that’s saying something).

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any problem with lezzies marrying (especially if they’re really hot like in all those porn movies). But this? Lindsay’s had more pipe laid out than Super Mario World! She’s had more protein shakes than a team of bodybuilders! She’s been plowed more times than Kansas! She’s…

..you get the idea.

My guess is that Ronson is also behind Lindsay’s nixing of the $700 grand offer for the Playboy shoot (which I didn’t write about cause it’s depressing). This is the same woman who’s shown her Roast Beef Sandwich for free a few times already. Samantha obviously has her by the lips. Bitch.

Lindsay, sweetie, pookums, you just need a dick. You’ve been so long without one you’ve obviously forgotten what one’s like. Call me, okay? I’m worried.

This is Emmanuelle Chriqui. I think I posted some pics before of her but I did not know she had such a big rack. Why doesn’t someone TELL me these things?? I don’t even know who she is. I looked up in Wiki and she’s apparently been on Entourage and The OC.

…oh, well, now it all makes sense. I only watch good television.

Anyhoo, here’s some pics of her from something.

Of course, I’m not sure the backless thing works because her boobs look like their getting ready for the Winter Migration south.  On the other hand, its always nice when a woman enters the room before she enters the room!

According to People magazine, this is not an ad for the latest Jessica Alba movie but a new ad she’s in for Declare Yourself which apparently wants us to do something (I think voting but I’m not sure).

“I think it is important for young people to be aware of the need we have in this country to get them more active politically,” says Alba. “People respond to things that are shocking.”

The dramatic image “really resonates” with the issue of voting, according to the 27-year-old star. “If you don’t register and vote and make a difference, and hopefully change the bad things that are happening in our country, you are essentially just binding and muzzling yourself.”

Okay, I guess it is about voting.

…

Well, this ad works either way. If you have the hots for Jessica; seeing her in bondage delights the kink in you.

Or, you’ve gotten tired of all her bitching and are just glad she’s finally got her damn mouth shut.

Guess which side of the fence, I’m on!

Yeah, yeah; I’m tired of this shit too okay?  Suffice to say that the one GOOD thing about this damn thing is that the projected path keeps moving to east of ChaozCentral.  Which is nice, because I’m stuck working my “real” job on Saturday morning and not in the mood to dodge whatever is flying around in hurricane force winds on my way to work.  That’s assuming my lightweight car just didn’t go flat out airborne.  I like breathing, thank you.

On the other hand, if all of our tech is wrong and this SOB actually heads my way … well, you’ll forgive me if I’m miss a few days on the blog.  Maybe God’s trying to send me a message about blogging.

…

It was all those shit I gave Britney, I bet.

…

Whatever, anyway I’ll be off the next couple of days and while most of the people around here will be buying up all the gasoline, generators, and water (I stocked up on beer and condoms);  what will I be doing?

Fuck it, let’s blog.

NEW YORK - David Spade is the father of Playboy playmate Jillian Grace’s newborn daughter, Spade’s representative said Thursday. The baby girl was born Aug. 26 in Missouri, and Spade plans to visit her on his first break from filming the CBS sitcom “Rules of Engagement,” publicist Meredith O’Sullivan said.No further details were provided.

The 44-year-old comedian told TMZ.com earlier this year that he had a brief relationship with Grace, and would accept responsibility if confirmed to be the father of her child. (Associated Press, via The News Vault)

Seriously, some days it just doesn’t pay to turn over outta bed and look at what’s on the newswire. Fuck all the supposedly depressing shit about the world-at-large. The news that really depresses me is nice sweet things decide to jump ugly motherfuckers instead of me.

Of course, the worse part is that now an entire generation of sarcastic, tossed-hair, bad-dressed, short shits will think they can hit on women like this. Ugh. Moments like this I almost wish I was gay.

…

ALMOST.

PS - you perverts looking for some nudies can find them here.