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The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
The Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The PublicThe Public Shouldn’t Respect Celebrity, Celebrity Should Respect The Public
First I’ll say I have never liked Michael Phelps, the Olympian. He’s cocky and he won all those fucking gold medals at the Olympics and all the chicks dig him. Asshole.
Now Michael Phelps, the dude? Party on, bro! He likes trash women (read that someplace) and knows how play the bong, bro! Unfortunately, the pothead got a major buzzkill when he got busted with a dude taking his picture while toking up. Worst, the hozer sold it to News of the World. Man, unrighteous…
In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.
The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis. (Personally, I’ve NEVER seen them used for anything else! - UC)
And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.
Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed from the bong during two days of partying with students last November, a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.
See the dude shoulda stayed on the down low or even come up with a disguise you know like those movies?
Having never done pot, I don’t see the attraction. ::shrugs:: Now, booze? Well, different story…
Meanwhile, Humbert Humbert is plotting…
*sigh*
Remember that rant I had about Miley Cyrus just a day or so ago? Well, when I mentioned “nipslip” I was referring to what happened during a photoshoot while she was on a horse. But lo and behold, she flashes sideboob! This time she’s shopping and someone manages to take snips of her trying something out. Okay, this is where it gets complicated for me.
Why is she not wearing a bra?
If she’s just trying it on … where the HELL is she gonna wear that ‘blouse’?? A lolita convention?
Would you let your kid (and lets face it, legally she still is) wear that ANYWHERE???
You know it’s actually illegal in Texas to photograph young girls in potentially compromising positions in public? Like cheerleaders at a football game or something. No, really. So the guy who took these pics would be in a shitload of trouble over here? Over there? Eh.
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie - I’d do Miley if she wanted my dick wrapped in a bow on her 18th birthday. Hell, I’ll let her daddy sing “Achy Breaky Heart” if he wants to while she’s going down on me. When she’s legal. Otherwise, this shit sucks right now as far as I’m concerned.
And YES, you can look at the pics over here (I’m not hotlinking them on principle and legal advice).
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Meanwhile in the other corner of the Lolita Apocalypse we have Ali Lohan. Now, Ali Lohan is potentially a worse case because 1) she obviously is enjoying the ‘attention’ and 2) her mother (Dina “do my daughters” Lohan) is no doubt behind the mechinations. Man, we thought Lindsay was fucked up in the head?? Holy crap, Ali may need the mother of therapy courses when all is said and done.
There’s a thin line between advertising and exploitation. Dina is approximately 10000 miles over that line. Christ, the kid’s 15 going on 50 and will be doing the shit her sister’s doing by the time she’s 17 (if she’s not already doing it now).
What I said about Miley doesn’t even apply to Ali. She’s a fucking mental mess. Even now, she looks likely to cut your dick off, cook it bacon grease, and forcefeed it to you.
Bill Hicks was a comedian. Nah, that’s not right. He was a fucking awesome comedian. Back on October 1, 1993; he did The Late Night show of David Letterman’s.
It was cut.
Needless to say, Bill was furious about it. So much so he wrote a 39 page letter to John Lahr of The New Yorker (found here) about being censored. It was an opportunity to shine. Actually it was his last also.
What most people didn’t know (including Letterman) was that Bill had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on June 16th which had already metastasized to his liver. He received chemo but it was far too late already. He would be dead just 4 months after his deleted Letterman appearance.
I’m not one of those who’d say “Bill Hicks was (a) God”. However, he was really fucking hilarious and really told it like it is. His comedy was a mirror to reality; and it wasn’t always a pretty picture.
Last night (30 Jan 09), Letterman invited Bill’s mom on the show and he finally showed the cut piece. Seeing and hearing Bill’s mom you can see who Bill took after. Letterman, to his credit, was contrite and extremely apologetic. He accepted full responsibility for cutting the piece and realize that
“It says more about me as a guy than it says about Bill because there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.”
So, with that as a backdrop, I’m proud to link you to Bill Hicks on Letterman. I laughed my ass off.
Ever known people you just WANT to hate on but can’t? Like a Ned Flanders person? You wanna hate him but when he comes out on top you kinda think “that’s cool”. Well, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are like that for me. I remember when I heard they were getting married I though “yeah yeah, whatever, give a month”. Well, now it’s been like 50 years and not only are they together but they have two cute kids. And HOLY SHIT, they actually KEEP THEM OUTTA THE SPOTLIGHT? You mean no “exclusives” to People or US? Oh I feel faint!
Seriously, even these pictures are too fucking cute for me. But given that there IS an infinite amount of alternate earths (based on the Uncertainty Principle and Schoedeger’s Cat Paradox); on some Earth Gwen Stefani and I are married. Hell, on another Gwen and YOU are married (feel better about your worthless life? Nah, me neither.)
So, let’s just pretend this is another other Earth: Here are pictures of Gwen and our kids at the park.
You know those machines where two people get in and get a picture taken and then we see what their kid is suppose to look like? The computer had a better image that time.
I was gonna post something about Britney and her putting her life together by putting a restraining on both her ex-manager (Sam Lufti) and ex-boyfriend/papparazzi (Adnoids Ghalib).
On the other hand this stood out. Rumer Willis at the Push premiere. Ya know, the MC of the Golden Globes (or was that last year? I frankly don’t care) and all that? I actually feel sorry for her. No really. She’s got her daddy’s chin and mother’s forehead (or is it the other way around in reverse?). Hell maybe her forehead IS on her chin. I dunno. Anyway.
You know those machines where two people get in and get a picture taken and then we see what their kid is suppose to look like? The computer had a better image that time.
I was gonna post something about Britney and her putting her life together by putting a restraining on both her ex-manager (Sam Lufti) and ex-boyfriend/papparazzi (Adnoids Ghalib).
On the other hand this stood out. Rumer Willis at the Push premiere. Ya know, the MC of the Golden Globes (or was that last year? I frankly don’t care) and all that? I actually feel sorry for her. No really. She’s got her daddy’s chin and mother’s forehead (or is it the other way around in reverse?). Hell maybe her forehead IS on her chin. I dunno. Anyway.
Don’t look at with lust, there’s a cop in the right corner!!
I hate brats like Miley Cyrus. No, really. Especially when they dress like this. I hear it: “But it’s a dress! She’s not revealing any skin! You’re just a dirty old man!”
Well, yes I am and fuck you.
This is what gets me. She collects a zillion dollars a month, her boyfriend basically lives with her so they can fuck snuggle in peace, she takes pictures of herself on her phone nearly naked. And then we had…
THE NIPSLIP!
Only it wasn’t. I didn’t bother posting it up because it was a non-issue. No nipple slip. Why? Because any shots actually taken were so blurry you couldn’t see shit. The hilarious part was that some were constituting the pics (such as they were) as illegal to post or even view.
…
And then she comes out looking like this in ‘everyday’ clothes?! I’m calling “shenanigans”. She’s wearing 3 inch heels (minimum) and the skirt is about 4 inches above the knee. Dress like that in high school, you get detention (or straight A’s). BUT since she’s Miley (”I’m Innocent“) Cyrus, she gets away with it.
I say - she wears a BIG ass orange construction sign that says I AM NOT LEGAL YET and not make a SINGLE dime if she shows more than an ankle, until she turns 18.
You know there really isn’t that much to Amanda Bynes. She’s nice looking, but not gorgeous. She likes to party but isn’t a slut. She’s modestly talented but doesn’t have any sort of “celeb megawattage”. She is a perpetual C-lister at best.
She DOES however have a nice pair of legs and it’s nice to know that her natural stance for her legs IS open. So at least she has that going for her. Maybe there’s hope for her yet in Hollywood. However, she is 22. That’s like 55 in Hollywood years. She better hurry.
Plus she’s holding hands with a girl, which obviously means she’s a lesbian; I learned all this from watching Jerry Springer.
Yeah, yeah - PETA had an ad apparently banned from airing during the Super Bowl. Big … deal. Seriously, I like some of what PETA does but I’m sorry, I like a burger, okay? Fur? No. Steak? Yeah.
Anyway, PETA probably knew that the ad wouldn’t be aired but now it can go viral (which if you think about it is a HELLUVA lot cheaper in today’s economy) so I give them kudos for the plan.
As for the commercial itself? Eh. I’ve seen funnier ones and sexier ones get aired. The only funny bit is the chick making a soup in her hottub. Now, if I had made the video? To hell with the broccoli, lets go all out: cucumbers, celery, carrots, zucchini. C’mon, you want a guys attention? THAT’LL do it! Besides you get the veggie-tarians and the veggie-lovers!
So in typical PETA fashion: great plan, lousy execution - C+.
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Additional bonus - probably will be the only funny commerical during the game:
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