CelebrityFIST!

Playmate Sara Jean Underwood in some lingerie…

The woman allegedly Claire Danes at the Film Independent’s Spirit Awards last week.

Rhona Mitra topless in an undated shoot

Ok - is it me or is Sandra Bullock actually getting more attractive???  - from InStyle Magazine (03/09)

And last (but not least) Lucy Pinder going (sorta) green..

OKAY I WAS GONNA PUBLISH THIS AT 4:04AM LAST NIGHT BUT I DIDN’T WANT THIS SPOILING MY PAGE ALL DAY HENCE THE LATE POST…

Words fail…
Here I am just getting ready to go to bed when I come across this shit (DrunkenStepfather):

The WOW Report just talked to Vivid Entertainment’s co-chairman Steven Hirsch and he told us that Vivid is custom-developing a script for Nadya Suleman called Octopussy. “It would feature Nadya and eight men,” he said. “We have confirmed that she has seen our offer and are waiting to hear back from her. For one million dollars we expect 88 minutes of full hardcore sex.” Then he added, “With her lips she would have been perfect to star in Vivid’s new reality show Deeper Throat.” (sauce)

Um … it’s too fucking late in the evening.  I’m drunk and I have to work tomorrow morning.  So…

Why not just get Verne Troyer to see if he can crawl in there?

No, really.

Because at this point she has stretch marks that you can probably roll up with a broomstick and sell as window shades.  She probably has suspenders on her pussy lips.

In other words - the guys at Vivid need to REALLY lay off drinking the bong water.  They’re fucking it up for the rest of us.

 Sienna shows off her ‘technique’…

Things that make you go hmmm: We were a little curious when we caught Sienna Miller exiting the men’s room during Montblanc’s/UNICEF dinner in Hollywood, and downright intrigued when we saw she was being trailed by a short, straggly haired gent … whom she didn’t speak to again that night. (NY Daily News)

Obviously she’s learned from Cameron Diaz on how to get a job in Hollywood.  Well more power (and semen) to her!

“My Daughter, My Lover” - the new book from Redneck Romances, Inc.

Sometimes the best bits of snarking just land at your feet.  Kinda like bird shit … or the economy.

Anyway, Miley Cyrus (bless her redneck little heart) seems to have stepped into it.  Again.  This time, she bemoans the fact that people think there’s something icky going on between her and her dad (as in “anatomy lessons”)…

Teen queen Miley Cyrus doesn’t like to hear comments insinuating there’s something icky between her and her famous father.

In her new memoir, Miles to Go, the actress/singer says that it bothers her when people suggest there’s something inappropriate about her relationship with her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.

“The media has said some stuff about my dad and me being too close and too cuddly for a father and a daughter,” the 16-year-old star says in the book. “For me and my dad it’s not weird at all.”

Buzz about their relationship began at the time of her now-famous Annie Leibovitz shoot for Vanity Fair. In addition to posing for some semi-nude photos, she was seen reclining against her father with his arm around her shoulder.

Miley also says that she gets hurt reading Internet stories that criticize her, saying that some people are “so full of anger, hatred and bitterness.” (Star Magazine)

WELCOME to the Real World snook-ums!! 

First off, yeah that’s a weird pic.  I made a joke (as many did) and I moved on.  The fact that she is smarting (still) from this (which happened over 900 years ago) makes me think two things:

• she needs to retire NOW.  She can’t handle this heat?  Shit - wait til she turns LEGAL!!
• it sounds like this insinuation struck a nerve - why is that?  Hmmmmmm.

Frankly, I don’t think Miley’s actually doing her dad (Jessica Simpson and her dad?  Welllllllll…), BUT the more you try to squash a ridiculous rumor - the more likely people assume its true.

The other I have screaming in my head is … “sucks to be on the OTHER end of shit, doesn’t it?”  I have a tough time believing that while she’s grown up she hasn’t at least thrown her daddy’s ‘fame’ in somebody’s face.  Sorry, even saints were human once…

These pics of her and her dad supply NO rumor fodder WHATSOEVER!!!

How do you spell ‘FAIL’?  A-D-N-A-N
Britney’s former lover(?) Adnan Ghalib is probably gonna be busy for awhile seems in a l-i-t-t-l-e trouble with the Po-po.

Britney Spears‘ ex-admirer Adnan Ghalib is facing felony charges for allegedly hitting a process server with his car as the guy tried to present Ghalib with the Spears family’s restraining order against him, according to Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office spokeswoman Jane Robison.

Ghalib was charged Tuesday with assault with a deadly weapon, battery and hit-and-run for the alleged Feb. 11 incident.  … Ghalib is facing up to seven years in prison if convicted on all charges.

Per the criminal complaint, Ghalib started to drive toward the man, who, in order to avoid being pinned against a garbage truck, jumped onto the hood of Ghalib’s Mercedes. Ghalib swerved and the alleged victim fell off, breaking his wrist and sustaining other injuries. The defendant then drove away without stopping.  (E! Online)

If you look at the link it sez “Adnan charged hit and run of Britney”.  Yeah, right.  But hey, you gotta get attention somehow with TMZ looking all the good stories recently.

Anyhoo, with any luck we won’t have to see his sorry ass until the next Star Trek picture with William Shatner. 

Couldn’t happen to a better person…

I dunno about you but unless you REALLY want to hear how Megan Fox is single (again), Jennifer Aniston loves Brad Pitt (still), or the latest Rihanna/Chris Brown stupidity…

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

So - let’s talk about Barbara Meier.  Who’s Barbara Meier?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHO SHE IS???

Okay, neither do I.  So let’s ask Wikipedia …

Born in the small Bavarian town of Amberg, Barbara Meier didn’t originally aspire a career in modelling. Instead, after graduating from school, she enrolled at the Fachhochschule Regensburg in order to study mathematics.

While shopping at a local mall, she was invited by a model scout to a casting for Germany’s Next Topmodel. Out of 16,421 participants in the national casting, she was chosen among the 15 candidates to appear on the TV show. In the course of the show, she had to face a series of challenges in order to outrival her contestants. Even before the end of the show, one of these minor competitions had her win a leading role alongside Heidi Klum in a nationwide TV commercial for McDonald’s.

In the last episode, she outpaced the other two finalists, brunette Hana and blonde Anni, and was declared winner of the title “Germany’s Next Topmodel”. The prize included a contract with the modelling agency IMG Models in Paris, an appearance on the cover of the German edition of Cosmopolitan in August 2007 and a contract as the face of the next advertising campaign for the clothing company C&A.

Basically, she’s a red-headed German who likes math (apparently).  I’m a guy who likes math, redheads, and I have weinerschitzel she can have anytime.  See, cuz Germans like sausage and …

…well, shit - cut me some slack.  I’m still in HD mourning!

Anyhoo, so why is she a ChaozBabe?  Ha!  Do the math!! 

Topless oops pictures after this… (more…)