CelebrityFIST!

Even I can look hotter than this (and that’s saying something)

Man, now if I told you that I have pictures of a 22 and 16 year surfing in their two-piece bikinis that they’d be great pics right?

WRONG.

Man, I still will do Lindsay but WTF is up with Ali’s chest!?  Sweet Mother McCree, her chest looks like Tori Spelling’s!  Though I admit Ali probably weighs more. 

Well, I admit these pics are a disappointment, so if I had see them so should you. You can cuss me out later.

Bad viruses! Heel! Heel!
As you know I try to limit this blog to celebrity stupidity and boobs (granted a low-ball combination, but it works).  The last thing I’d want to write about is REAL news.  Fuck it, I ain’t a reporter.

Though I’m a VICIOUS gossip! 

Ok - as many of you know, ChaozCentral is located in South Texas and as I’m sure you’ve ALL heard by now, there’s this nasty Swine Flu virus floating around that apparently originated in Mexico.  We’ve had a few cases here and now the damn thing is going global (15 countries at last count).  Just earlier the World Health Organization has stated:

The World Health Organisation has warned that “all of humanity is under threat” from a potential swine flu pandemic and called for “global solidarity” to combat the virus. (Telegraph.co.uk)

Wonderful.  Lets panic the planet, shall we?

After hearing that on the local news I decided to throw my two cents into this conversation this one time (unless the damn thing mutates).  So here’s some nice facts for the levelheaded (because the schizos, paranoids, anti-intellectuals, and conspiracy theorists are beyond sense now):

1)  What is Swine Flu?

Specifically its called H1N1 virus.  Its a virus that previous affected just pigs (who have a similarly built immune system as us) than mutated (as many virus do) and jumped to human and is passable from person-to-person.

2)  How do you get it?

Well first, you DON’T get it from eating pork.  It’s being carried in water droplets of those who have the virus.  Even after the droplets evaporate, the virus is still viable for several hours.  Touch a contaminated surface, touch your nose, eyes or mouth - BINGO!  Infection.

3)  Why is it so dangerous?  Why all the hype?

Well, it isn’t provide you live someplace that stocks antiviral medication (Tamiflu, Remivir).  The problem with this virus is that its new to humans.  So there’s no vaccine (the seasonal flu vaccine is not effective against this) and so its difficult for people to NOT get it.  Odds are in fact, that at current rate of spread; you WILL get it.

By the way, this virus is different from the one that hit the US in the late 1970’s.  “Swine flu” is merely describes its original source.

4)  Great - so what are the symptoms?

Fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills, fatigue, possibly diarrhea and/or vomiting.

In other words, symptoms similar to the seasonal flu.  No big difference there.

5)  But can’t you die from it?

Well, of course, you could also die from the seasonal flu too.  For example, 36,000 people die of complications to the seasonal flu.  Just in the United States.  EVERY YEAR.  Of course you don’t hear this shit simply because it happens every year - and usually to the elderly.  This virus, however, is able to infect otherwise healthy people (though with only mild symptoms) - so of course everyone has to freak out.

6)  Ok - so what can I do?

Not much more than what you would do to keep from getting the seasonal flu.

• Wash your hands often
• Disinfect surfaces where you think infected people have had contact
• Avoid close contact with people who may be sick (Yay internet!)
• Use bottled water instead of municipal water fountains
• Masks are NOT really helpful - unless you’re working in a place that is housing infected people (clinics, hospitals, etc)

7) Finally - what do I do if I DO get sick?

Same as the above but also CALL YOUR PHYSICIAN OR CLINIC let them know you MAY have the flu.  DON’T go to the office (you’ll infect everyone else, ninny!).  The MD will call in script for you or have you pick up some meds (depending on where you live).  Drink plenty of fluids and get a LOT of rest.  Don’t overexert yourself and keep yourself away from any healthy people!

…

I knew all that schooling I did would come in handy one day! 

Oh, BTW - do the world a favor and SPREAD the info!  You don’t have to direct them here, just give them the straight up facts.  The idiot you save may be a friend of yours. 

From FoxNews (hey, I get the news whereever I find it):

Kelly McGillis told the Internet show Girl Rock! that she was single, and in the market for a female partner.“Definitely a woman,” she said when asked if she’s looking for a man or a woman. “I’m done with the man thing. You need to move on in life.”McGillis, 51, has been married and divorced twice, and has two daughters with her second husband, Fred Tillman.

The actress said coming out as a lesbian was “an ongoing process from the time I was probably 12.”

She added that “I had a lot of things happen that convinced me that God was punishing me because I was gay.” McGillis was attacked and raped in her apartment in 1982 when she was a young actress working in New York.

VIDEO: Click here for the Kelly McGillis interview.

The actress also told Girl Rock! that now that her daughters are grown, she’s looking to get back into acting, but is having a hard time - because she won’t dye her hair!

The only reason this is even news to me is that it seems that the only person who didn’t know Kelly was a lesbian … was Kelly.  I could’ve sworn I knew this for about 20 years now (srsly).  I think it was when Witness came out (w/ Harrison Ford).  I shrugged, thought “okay”, end of story.

Plus isn’t Top Gun like the gayest movie ever (before Brokeback Mountain anyway)??

Poor Kirstie Alley, I really feel bad for her.  Thin, fat, kinda-thin, mega-fat, kinda-thin, mega-fat.  It’s not healthy over the long term.  I think part of the problem though maybe her eating habits.  She told Oprah Winfrey:

“We look around. We see what we want,” says Alley, 58. “Don’t you look around and see what you want to look like? I’m, like, ‘Look, Michelle Obama’s guns. I could have those arms,’ ” she says. “I don’t know about the legs.”

???

Kirstie honey, eating people is bad!  Bad Kirstie!  Don’t you know that people nowadays are obese and have a lot of fat!  Now granted you’re thinking you can limit yourself to just her arms; but we know you.  Soon, you’re putting ketchup on those legs and who knows when you’ll stop!  Plus - its cannibalism is still illegal.  I think.  Can’t tell nowadays in this fast changing world of ours.

Um, what?  … She’s talking about fitness?  Oh.  Hmm.  Well that’s different (for her anyway)!

Having turned her home gym into a dining room, “I thought, ‘You know what I need? You know what I haven’t had a lot of? I haven’t had a lot of dinner parties and company,’ ” says Alley.(People.com)

I think she’s doing this weight loss thing wrong.  It should be “dining room to home gym”.  So maybe she is talking about eating Michelle Obama.  

Just letting ya all know that my connection is running intermittent right now - I did see my comment finally made it up so that’s good.  If for some reason you don’t see anymore posts for tonight, you know why.  Otherwise, lets see what I can cook up tonight! 

“Sapphire”?  More like house fire…
Consider it re-establishing the cosmic balance but after being nice to Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan, I’ve had to target someone afterwards.  Can’t be too “Kum-ba-ya” ya know.  Well, Christina Aguilera was one and who should be the other?

Well, this one is too easy really but Pamela Anderson… (more…)