CelebrityFIST!

The worst part is that she doesn’t say “penis” once.  She says it twice.  Enjoy!

One’s of these pictures is Jo Ann Worley - betchya can’t tell which one.

“I don’t think that Adam was ever in [the closet],” she says in a taped interview airing Friday on ABC’s The View. “I think he was always openly out.”
Walters then asked again if Lambert — who has never publicly said he’s gay — “was always openly out.”
“I think he was,” DioGuardi replies. “I mean, from what I’ve seen … I do. I never thought he wasn’t.”
Asked by Barbara Walters whether Lambert’s perceived sexuality may have influenced Idol voters, DioGuardi says, “Well, first of all, I hope not … because we should be judging on talent and viability in the music industry and they both [Lambert and winner Kris Allen] had that. (USMagazine)

So maybe he lost because he’s gay.  Well - DUH!  Most of the people who watch these shows are either teenieboppers who get wet for just about anyone, old folks with nothing else better to do, or idiots who are so vacuous that they’d vote on Best American Chimp show.

Okay, changing it up again - found this via PopBytes so props to him/her/them.  This comes from Norwegian Recycling and is a video & audio mashup of The Killers, Kelly Clarkson, Bon Jovi, Muse, Hellogoodbye, Empire Of The Sun anchored with Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida”, it’s called “Viva La Viral” and frankly, I wish I could do QUARTER of the editing these guys could do.  Impressive (and catchy).  Enjoy!

Phil Spector gets 19 years to life (Celebslam) - well so much for him.  Next!

Lisa Rinna - “She’s a loser, baby…” (TheBlemish) - can’t really add more than that.

Simona Halep, 17-year-old prefers a tennis career over her 34DD’s  (F-Listed) - that noise you heard was the collective jaw of 3 billion men dropping to the ground wondering “WTF!?”.  Good God, woman!  Have some decency!  Have some compassion!!  Wait til your 18th birthday.  Do a topless shoot, THEN get them reduced!!  The video rights ALONE would be worth big endorsement money!!  I’m feeling faint…

Candy Spelling:  Tori killed her father. (Popeater) - Well that’s one less Mother’s Day Tori has to worry about getting…

Marc Anthony talks to his ex-wife after he argues with Jennifer Lopez (GabbyBabble) - Skeletor better watch it or J.Lo. is gonna shove Castle Greyskull up his ass!! 

Hugh Hefner takes his hoes to a Lakers game (DrunkenStepfather) - wow I’m just like Hef!  Except, instead of pussies I have pussycats.  And instead of a basketball game I take them to the vet.  … Okay, time to kill myself again!  BRB.

Well the dude who directed Slumdog Millionaire - Danny Boyle - has finally stepped into the fray regarding the homelessness of two of his child actors from the film.

As we last left India, Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali and their families had been kicked out of their slum housing for city improvements (probably a telephone kiosk or something).  Anyway, it certainly seemed like bad times till Mr. Boyle went down there and bought some apartments for the two.

HOWEVER, there’s a new wrinkle:

Slumdog Millionaire’s young stars Azharuddin Ismail and Rubina Ali have been offered new homes by the Indian government - just days after director Danny Boyle purchased apartments for the child actors.
Boyle and the movie’s producers plucked Ismail, 10, and Ali, nine, from impoverished obscurity to appear in the Oscar-winning film and established the Jai Ho Trust last year to help fund their education.
But the kids’ plight has captured headlines in recent weeks after both children’s families were booted out of their homes and forced to live on the streets of India by local authorities.
They had been homeless for weeks before Boyle flew into Mumbai this week  and revealed he had bought Ismail a brand new apartment, with plans to do the same for Ali.
And now India’s chief minister, Congress party member Ashok Chavan, has waded into the controversy - revealing both stars’ families have already been alloted new homes which will be ready in days.
A statement from Chavan reads, “The regional head of the Congress party said these two child actors were talented but were living in the slums and therefore should be given homes.”
As WENN went to press, it was unknown whether the two families would have to choose between the homes.  (ContactMusic)

Without wading too far into this quagmire; Boyle should have at least set up SOMETHING for these kids before leaving them in the first place.  How do you take them to Hollywood and then plop them back into the slums???  Second, obviously this is a political ploy and if anything it’ll just get worse for these kids as they get older - becoming pawns in the next regional election.

For what its worth, I’d take the apartment from Boyle.

How’s it hangin’?

Apparently while we weren’t looking Katie Price (aka Jordan, I don’t know why) went out had a penis attached to her.  She apparently leans to the left now and will no doubt be making videos in Brazil soon.  I have no idea where this is from - no doubt some sorta Ladyboy Paegent in England.  Pervs those Limeys. 

BTW, I went ahead and posted some pics of her when she was still a woman just so you could contrast the differences - kinda amazing how the surgeon was able to make these changes.  Good job, Dr. Feelgood!

How come I can’t look at this picture from an angle?  ARRRGH!

Found the Men’s Health outtakes of Elisha Cuthbert and this woman simply REFUSES to show them.    Ke-ripes!  It’s not like she’s got that much of a career left (does a quick check of IMDB to verify).  Sweetie, just show them and we’ll watch your next movie.  It worked for Jessica Biel.

Oh wait, bad example.  (more…)

Ok, for the last few weeks there’s this ’scandal’ going on a reality TV show called “Jon & Kate Plus 8“.  Its loser show on an equally loser network.  It supposedly details the family workings of a this couple with 8 kids who live in this gigantic house and want for nothing.  Sounds like something I’d certainly watch while reheating a frozen food leftovers. 

Anyway, apparently the husband’s cheating on the wife, the wife’s been cheating too, and basically a lot pissing on each other.  Of course, the show now has MONSTER ratings (for a loser network) and they’re all happy (kinda).

Frankly, I’ve avoid the mess because I couldn’t care less not that they’re all happy, right?
Not anymo-ore! 

A U.S. reality TV couple are under investigation following accusations they’re breaking state child labor laws in Pennsylvania.
Jon and Kate Gosselin, the stars of hit show Jon & Kate Plus 8, have been reported to the state’s labour department for allegedly exploiting their eight young children on the program.
A spokesman for the authorities has confirmed the couple is under investigation, but added, “Because the case is ongoing I can’t discuss the content of the investigation.”
Meanwhile, a statement from the U.S. TV network behind the show reads, “TLC fully complies with all applicable laws and regulations. Jon and Kate Plus 8 is no exception. For an extended period of time, we have been engaged in co-operative discussions and supplied all requested information to the Pennsylvania Department of Labor.”
The show follows the daily lives of the Gosselins, who are currently considering a separation following a string of marital issues.  (ContactMusic)

They can probably blame Octomom for this mess.  She tried to get a show but everyone was freaking out about it so that never materialized.  Apparently, now people are wondering if maybe having 8 kids being raised in front of cameras while they’re parents are duking it out is a good idea.  DUH!

Oh yeah - almost forgot:  BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

While I recover from my drinking last night, you get to watch some videos I raided from YouTube.  Enjoy! (more…)

I can’t say anything, since I’ve had nights like this…

Well former Miss UK (I think) Danielle Lloyd had to have “emergency surgery” - basically she had to go to the emergency room cuz she got the crap kicked and beat outta her.  Of course, like most stories, this ultimately becomes far LESS exciting than one would hope to believe:

“Danielle spent the whole evening at her table at the centre of the club all over her guy completely drunk. They were with two other couples who were equally as drunk.

“It started when one of the girls sitting at the other tables accidentally grabbed or caught one of her hair extensions. The girl apologised but Danielle wouldn’t let it rest and decided it would be a good idea to stand up on the glass table top, joining several other girls who were dancing.

“She had a face like thunder and you knew there was going to be trouble. Two of the girls got off the table but she chose to keep bumping into one of the girls next to her. Not sure what the other girl said but Danielle was shouting right in her face with her hands in the air. Then as the girl turned her back, Danielle grabbed her hair and they all came tumbling down onto the glass table below (everyone in the club saw this so there are bound to be pics out there somewhere).

“There was a massive scuffle/fight on the floor with a few of the girls getting stuck in until the bouncers decided to get involved. I have to admit there was so much blood one of my mates felt faint. Danielle had a massive cut on her leg which was gushing out so they had to lay her down with it elevated until her guy decided to carry her out.”

The only interesting bit is “there was so much blood one of my mates felt faint”.  Wha-at?  You’re shitting me right?  I’ve seen bones sticking out of someone’s arm during a club fight and they’re were STILL fighting.  Seriously, what?  The dude must not get out of those but once a year or is so fey that even movie like Pirates of the Carribean is too graphic for him. 

And the Brits wonder why Yanks think of them as pansies. 

One thing for sure about Danielle, she IS a bleeder!!

Need any help with that, Charlotte?

I have no idea who Charlotte Gainsbourg is other than what Wiki tells me which is:

Charlotte Gainsbourg (born 21 July 1971 as Charlotte Lucy Ginsburg) is a French-English actress and singer-songwriter.

Which is enough for us.  I mean this is “CelebrityFist” not some high-brow site like Perez Hilton.

Anyhoo, you gotta love a woman who’s willing to change despite knowing that there’s cameras snapping pics.  She’s no doubt thinking “silly photographers, snapping a woman while she is changing; what purpose does that serve?”

Of course, it does serve a purpose.  Namely so us sick motha’s can get off on watching a woman change.  Obviously she hasn’t been inside a man’s brain before. 

Now I know for sure that if I was the guy with her in these pics I’m thinking “that’s right guys.  Snap away.  You can take pictures of it, but I’m HITTING it.  Nyah nyah nya-nya-nya-nyah.”  Or something equally intelligent.