CelebrityFIST!

Targets Acquired: Victoria’s Secret … Jesse James … Shauna Sand … Kim Kardashian … Ke$ha

Hot Models In The Kiddie Pool, Everybody IN!  In the pool that is, sorry.  Apparently in order to celebrate something, Victoria Secret got models Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, & Alessandra Ambrosio to stand in a kiddie pool wearing cut off shorts and bikini tops.  Frankly, I would’ve chosen a banana-split eating contest (with MY banana) but hey, this comes kinda close right? 

Jesse James Is A Dick and Sandra Bullock Is Stupid.  Sorry Sandy but c’mon, he was schtupping 4 other women while you took care of his kids??  Da-amn girl you got taken for a ride and a half and didn’t even get a t-shirt!  Seriously, Sandy, call me we’ll “talk”. 

Shauna Sand went to the beach - again.  Seriously, clear stripper heels cannot be a good way of instilling family values on your children.  … Of course the “sex talk” is gonna be VERRRRRRY interesting.  What?  Look it was the best I could do.  Behave or I’ll POST Shauna Sand pics?  What then, huh??

Reggie Brown may have cheated on Kim Kardashian.  OH HORRORS!! :shocked:  Okay, maybe not.  C’mon lets just talk about the real issue here.  Kim won’t let Reggie piss on.  She let Ray J, but she was young and stupid (like what a whole year ago?) and now she’s well older and still stupid.  But not stupid enough to get pissed on twice!  No sirree bob!  Besides I’m sure Reggie would go up to kiss Kim and say “Honey, did the cat mark its territory on you again?”

Ke$ha has a saggy diaper that leaks.  Well it does at the beach.   Gotta love those fat rolls, too.  Sister, I can tell you something - THAT bikini bottom is as flattering to you as a speedo would be for me.  :puke:

Well, this ends a rather anemic show (which makes sense since I’m not running on all cylinders, haven’t had a drink in a week, my right hand fuckin’ hurts, and I need a blowjob).

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Well, lets try to end on a high note anyway.  Shall we?  Here’s Jayme Langford dancing (rather lamely) as she goes from topless to nude.  Plus she’s redhead and that’s always good.  (I have mentioned…?)

Me, I’m done.  this has been a rather long day for me and need a bit of shuteye.  Nite, blokes.

Oh and the hand?  Yeah, good news is its not broken but my doc thinks its a torn tendon.  So I still have the brace on.  Any misspellings are unintentional.

Okay lets see what I can pull out with my one hand.

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Er, that sounded bad as I typed it.  Anyway, enjoy!

(BTW, UpMyPhoto has changed formatting and no longer works on this blog, so I had to change to ImageBam) (more…)

Hello everyone, Chaoz here.  Sick as a dog.  Still.  Not quite as bad as the last two days but feel like I just had sex with Paris Hilton.

…that’s a joke, y’all (theoretically anyway)…

So in order to celebrate my partial return lets go with a song that fits me (or at least the title):  Flyleaf’s “I’m So Sick”.  If nothing else she’s at least fuckable in an emo-,3-valium, sorta way.