CelebrityFIST!

This is one weird news item from ContactMusic:

KATE HUDSON is at the sharp end of a bizarre new lawsuit - bosses of a haircare company have accused her of stealing their volcano ash.

220 Labs bosses claim the actress stole their idea for a secret volcano ash hair product.
In a lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles on Friday and obtained by TMZ.com, the plaintiffs claim Hudson took a sample they gave her and created her own line of products, which she even promoted on U.S. cable shopping channel HSN.
Lawyers for 220 Labs are demanding unspecified damages.
First of all, “220 Labs”?  What kinda name is that?  I mean I know what 420 means; but 220?  Anyway…

Next “secret volcano ash”?  Wow, I can just see Kate Hudson going to Mount Poopoocaca in the dark of night secretly scooping up this “conditioner of the gods”.  The woman can barely act, much less be Machiavellian enough to outfox a lab(rador retriever).

Finally, when you’re doing promos on HSN; girl, its time to pose in Playboy Penthouse Hustler Celebrity Skin, collect that last decent check and then spend the rest of your life performing dinner theatre.  Seriously.

Macy’s give the Brook Hogan balloon a test run for the Thanksgiving Parade 

In a stunning reversal, it appears that Brooke Hogan, the rumored daughter of Hulk Hogan (aka Terry something-or-other) is indeed a female. Not a tranny after all (though those in the “post-op” camp are still not quite convinced)! While feminists and scientists argue the ramifications of this starting discovery; I thought I’d go and post up the pictures that brought about this news.

From ContactMusic:

MILEY CYRUS left the stage midway through a concert in New Orleans, Louisiana on Saturday after telling the audience she was feeling unwell. The Hannah Montana superstar remained backstage for five minutes, before returning to finish her set. Walking to a stool onstage, the 15-year-old told the sold-out crowd, “Thanks, you guys. I feel a lot better, but I’m going to sit this one down.”

Believe me, I’m sure she’s thinking in the back of her mind, “WHEW!  Safe for another month!”  Maybe she should consider a sponsorship with Midol (for those days when you just “have to go with the flow”).
….

Aw, fuck you; like you weren’t glad when “the bill” came for your girlfriend!

This is Kimberly Stewart…

surprisingly that’s all I had on her for about an hour.  I mean I know she’s Rod Stewarts kid and likes to hang around Paris, Lindsay, Kim Kardashian, etc; but other than that … well, she’s pretty non-descript.

She’s kinda like that girl who you meet at a party, you try to start a conversation with her but you can’t keep enough of her attention as she always winds up talking to someone else.  So just as the party’s winding down, you figured you struck out when she says “Wanna go to my place to fuck?” and you say “Yes” not because you actually want to fuck her but mostly out of confusion.  Suddenly you find yourself in her apartment fucking quietly on the sofa because her roommate’s asleep in the bedroom they share and after you manage to get off, she’s says “Thanks for a nice night” and sends you on your merry way.  Then as you’re in your car on your way home you suddenly realize that: (1) you don’t remember her name, and (2) you never even got her phone number, so you’re just kinda dumbfounded at what just happened and feel kinda used, so you decide not to mention this to anybody because the whole situation just sounds too weird to explain.

…

…

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Well, I can’t tell the difference!
This is why I post at night, because all the really retarded shit tends to slink onto the Net at this time.

(yes, I count my post as “retarded shit” as well)

Take for example this lovely piece of news.

MILEY CYRUS and her pop star alter ego HANNAH MONTANA are heading to the big screen. Following the success of the High School Musical movies, Disney wants Cyrus to conquer cinemas, after becoming a TV hit and selling out an entire live concert tour. Sources tell Star magazine writers are working on the script, and Disney bosses hope to star shooting later this year. An insider tells the tabloid, “The movie is set to begin filming this summer and the script, which needs a little tweaking, has been greenlighted for the past few months.” (source)

…

Actually, while I’m sure children (which are now officially dumber than the previous generation) will just drool mindlessly at the screen watching Miley being Hannah (who’s being Miley in real life, anyway); I’ve noticed something kinda disturbing.

She’s looking a little on the piggy side, don’tchya think??

I mean, her calves are something you could find on a prize pig and her face is getting those jowls real early. I think on an alternate Earth, she’s got 2 kids already and is sitting in front of the “teevee” while watching Dr. Phil and eating ice cream with a soup spoon.

As if in answer to Ali Lohan; we now see the “rise” of Miley Cyrus (what kinda name is that anyway?).

So let me see if I got this straight: Miley plays a kid named “Miley” (how cute) who has a “secret identity” as pop teen sensation “Hannah Montana”?

Sounds more like “split personality” and extensive therapy to me.

Anyway, Miley went with her mother Tish to the American Music Awards last week and of course the paps gobbled them up (I hope only metaphorically). What is disturbing is that despite all the make up in the world, the kids STILL only 14. Remember when childhood was until their 18th birthday? Why do they insist in dressing in bright red like a child prostitute?? Are kids nowadays THAT starved for attention???

….

Never mind, I forgot I’m talking about teens and the parents who ride their coattails. Heaven forbid I ask my kid what they want for Xmas and they say, “A recording contract and a sitcom.” Because then I will be beating the shit outta them til they turn 18.

Sources: Splash News Online & TMZ

Would you like fries with that?
From Splash News Online:

Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick Bollea, has lost his driving license for a year after being convicted for dangerous driving. The little Hogan was involved in a street racing accident in August that has left his passenger, John Graziano, in critical condition.

Hogan was arrested after turning himself in earlier this month on charges of reckless driving and has been ordered to pay an undisclosed fine.

That’s it? Loses his license for a year after nearly killing his “friend”? And who’s supposed to drive him around then? His mother?

Amazing how “the system” works only for some people. The rest, “let’em slide - they’re famous!”

Grrrrrr…

A face only a mother could love

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No, there is no punchline. Dear Zeus, I wish there was.

“We are delighted to have Rumer Willis join us to celebrate ‘The 65 ^th Annual Golden Globe Awards,’” said Camara at the announcement. “Since both of her parents have enjoyed successful entertainment careers in the acting profession, she is doubly qualified to serve as Miss Golden Globe.”

They DO realize that Photoshop only works on pictures, not live? You would think that the offspring of a hottie (pre-plastic) and an action hero would yield something approaching attractive. Nope. You know those machines where two people go in and take their picture and then the machine shows what their kid would look like? Well, she looks almost that good.

I don’t know about you, but if I was Bruce Willis; I’d ask Jay Leno for his whereabouts 9 months prior to this kid’s birth. Maybe he was a milkman in his spare time or something. On the other hand, the Golden Globes are a crock anyway so this may be their way of saying “Yeah, we’re not taking ourselves seriously either - go watch the Oscars.”