CelebrityFIST!

Just thought I throw this in cause I’d hate to have to look for the pics again.

No comments.  Just pics.

Emma Rigby; Rory Lewis Photoshoot

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley; Harper’s Bazaar Russia (05/2010)

Cindy Crawford; Harper’s Bazaar Russia (05/2010)

Ewe Sonnet; Red Lingerie & Fireplace

Cody Love; Grey Scarf & Ivory Lingerie

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.  I’m on beer 5, Patron is waiting for me and why is it that everytime I have more than 5 people in my life I have to *snip* self-baleeted for content

Demi Moore; outside David Letterman Show (04/20/2010) - it’s too bad she’s such a twat otherwise she’d still be worth fapping too (for a Barbie doll)

Kellita Smith; Stuff US (02/2003) - only because we need more black women on the site.  And I DO love’em dark (and lite, and mocha, and cream, and red, and …)

Rie Rasmussen; Elle US (05/2010) - there a bunch of sets in Elle this month.  All shit except for this one.

Kate Bosworth; Palm Springs (04/19/2010) - She looks good for a 14-year-old.  Uh, too bad she’s 28. 

Lets end on an ‘up’ note:  Ashley Roberts; washing her car in Santa Monica (04/19/2010) - HOLY SHIT!  Btw, someone forgot to block out her license plate in pic #8.  OOPS!

Actual conversation at this moment:

Cock: Let’s go out.  Chaoz: No, we’re staying in for a change.  Plus we have to go on Wednesday to the club anyway.  I want tits on me.  NO.  I need a blowjob.  Jesus!  You got 4 on Friday?  WTF?  I’m horny.  You’re ALWAYS horny!  Damn, you are such a -   …dick?  Shut up.

Anyway before I lose the argument… (more…)

I’m sure today is a day to celebrate something.  Oh yeah, Fiesta starts ‘officially’ today.  For those playing at home, its the biggest party here in town - basically 10 days to get shitfaced, arrested - wash, rinse, repeat.

Me?  I don’t do it because: 1) too fucking expensive, 2) too fucking crowded, & 3) been arrested once and the enjoyment is HIGHLY overrated.

Nope, I fully intend to enjoy my ‘fiesta’ in a nice - chaotic - way.  Hopefully involving taxis, blowjobs, and strippers (quite possibly all at once). 

Enough balloon juice - here’s the eyecandy. (more…)

No jump - too lazy

Katy Perry; NYC (04/13/2010) - its really not fair someone as irritating as her should look even partly sexy…

Tila Nguyen; still alive and as skanky as ever at Sirius XM (04/12/2010) - from a simply ‘ho’ point of view; I’d hit it … then I’d HIT it (I’ll leave it up to you in what order I mean)

Zoe Saldana; Self Magazine (05/2010) - I actually liked her more BEFORE ‘Star Trek‘.

Holly Peers; Nuts UK (04/2010) - because you can NEVER have enough British tits

Last (but or so not least) Christina Hendricks; Unknown Photoshoot - things I wanna do with her would be illegal just THINKING about them… 

Don’t ask - all I’ll say is that combo I described earlier works REALLY well.  … Maybe too well.  (more…)

Well as I try to get through my first week back at work (after a 2 week ‘rest’ where I was haunted by continuous phone calls from work) and bet myself whether or not I cuss someone out (2-1 odds right now).  Ah, fuck.

Anyway, lets try getting distracted with some eyecandy.  Hmm?

Gabriella Cilmi; The Noble Gift Gala -

Eva Longoria; Noble Gift Gala - I’ll admit she wearing too much damn make-up, the dress saves her from looking like a clown (now she looks like a hooker clown)…

Britain’s Naughtiest Blondes; Zoo UK (03/12/2010) -

Rhian Sugden; Zoo UK (03/12/10) -

Let’s end with a Zoo triple play.  Stacey Hannant; Zoo UK (03/12/2010) - sorry lads, this one’s shy.

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Mar 30 2010

Celebrity Goodies For 03/30/10 (Got My Ass Kicked Outta Work Ed.)

Posted by: Chaoz in Celebrity Goodies

I learned that the only thing worse than going to work while you’re still sick is being KICKED OUT of work because you’re still sick.  …  Frankly I was embarrassed.  Really.  To me its like being a general told you can’t fight your battle cause you have the sniffles.

… Granted, I’m not general and it’s not a war and that yeah throwing on germs around sick people isn’t a good image, but still.  So here I am home again (naturally).  *sigh*  It’s like fucking Groundhog Day.

Alright - I’ve got shit to post and I’m tired of all this crap clogging up the harddrive inhibiting my ability to download porn.  So  (cracks knuckles & hurts wrist) DAMMIT - anyway, I’m throwing out 10 sets today because I’m such a nice fucking guy.

Enjoy. (more…)

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Mar 25 2010

Celebrity Goodies For 03/25/10 (Sick As A Dog Ed.)

Posted by: Chaoz in Celebrity Goodies

Oh and the hand?  Yeah, good news is its not broken but my doc thinks its a torn tendon.  So I still have the brace on.  Any misspellings are unintentional.

Okay lets see what I can pull out with my one hand.

…

…

Er, that sounded bad as I typed it.  Anyway, enjoy!

(BTW, UpMyPhoto has changed formatting and no longer works on this blog, so I had to change to ImageBam) (more…)

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Mar 22 2010

Round 5 For 03/23/10: Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin Showing (A Shitload Of) Skin

Posted by: Chaoz in Celebrity Goodies

First, I’d like to say that I would never marry someone like Coco Austin.  Hell, I wouldn’t even DATE a woman like her.

Fuck her?

Yeah, pretty much the whole week thru. (more…)

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