CelebrityFIST!

Kevin does “The Truffle Shuffle” to sexify the ladies.

Okay, I can safely say I’m glad I’m not shaped like Kevin Federline.  Holy fuck.  How many extra-value meals do you have to eat to get that fuckin’ fat?  I mean, I’m overweight but goddamn at least I can see my dick when I suck in my gut ya know?

I don’t care if he’s getting child-support/leech money from Britney.  I also don’t give a shit that he’s fucking his hot girlfriend/golddigger Victoria Prince.  He’s so fucking fat he’ll die before I do - and I’ve got at least a decade on his fat ass.

Plus just from an economic standpoint:  can you imagine how much he has to bribe that chick just to fuck him?  Hell, blowing him must be like keeping a leaking air mattress inflated - gotta look for the blowhole and shit.
So at least be glad you’re not as fat as Federline.  Unless you are.  Which case - um, I’ve got nothing.  Sorry. 

Anyone got a razor weed whacker?
Yesterday, we had Rihanna trying way to hard to look arty (and looking like a cartoon in the process).  Today, we have Lady Gaga who really needs to just pack it in.  And by ‘it’ I mean her face.

Shocking it may be, a couple of her songs are ok (overproduced that they are) but she definitely has a “face for radio”.  She is probably one of those few people would have done much better BEFORE the Internet.  Now?  Um, she looks like a weretard who puts on random objects on her body assuming their clothing.

For example, these pictures from V Magazine show that she’s now reduced herself to putting on cotton candy and thinking she’s avant guarde for doing so.  Shit, I was wearing cotton candy when I was 5 and I never got a magazine cover (I did get a whipping though).

Plus, why actually took it upon myself to ask why Lady Gaga was on the cover of V Magazine so I went straight to the source!

American tarts sell.

Sometimes people just don’t know when to shut up.  Sometimes people don’t know when to not talk.

And sometimes need to realize they were not born to speak at ALL. (more…)

30lbs of ass in a 3 ounce bikini…

Unlike these ‘pro’ blogs; I don’t have a staff of 20 people combing the wire services, internet and their ‘contacts’ for the latest juicy tidbit.  I also am not like those ’semi-pro’ ones with one guy spending most of him time filling his blog with posts from the ‘pro’ blogs and then posting them during the day so he can download and watch his porn at night.  Hell, I’m not even an ‘amateur’ blogger who routinely steals crap from the ’semi-pro’ blogs. (more…)

Mouth open and preparing to suck - doesn’t get better than that

Ha-HA!  “came”. 

Anyway, she falls in the class of women who you really REALLY wanna jump but don’t see anything else even remotely attractive.  Sure she might know how to party but the second you actually wanna hold a conversation with her, her eyes start glazing over like.  And heaven forbid you use a word with more than 3 syllables.

This photoshoot she did in London on Saturday doesn’t help her case.  Sure, maybe the shoot is supposed to ironic in portraying her as a vacuous blonde, but she seems to pull the look off too well.  Granted maybe not at a level of a Heidi Montag or such; but pretty brain-dead nevertheless.

She probably responds to lightbeams flying across the wall, too:  “catch the light Taylor, catch the light!“

On the other hand, that just makes her sexier to me.  Yes, I am a pig.
  

She reminds us where her talent lies…

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