CelebrityFIST!

We here at ChaozCentral pride ourselves in our chauvanistic choovanistic male attitude.  That said, we wish to wonder what the fuck Salman Rushdie is thinking.  See, he’s divorcing this:

And now dating this: 

Former Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher has sparked rumours of a romance with British author Salman Rushdie, after they were spotted in London enjoying a cosy meal together. The odd couple recently dined together at posh London restaurant The Ivy - and according to reports, Fisher, 51, couldn’t keep her hands off 60-year-old Rushdie. The controversial writer is currently in the process of divorcing his wife of three years, model/actress Padma Lakshmi, following their split in July. (source)

I’m definitely missing something at this point.  My only assumption is that Carrie does nasty kinky things in bed.  Now that would have been cool about 30 years ago.  Now?  Er, not so much.  In fact, you know those “granny gangbang” movies?  Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking of.

And now some pointless nude pictures for you.  Relax it’s Padma, no Carrie. (more…)

Eva Longoria (actual size)

Well, many were wondering when this was gonna happen - especially me.

Tony Parker has apparently had enough of X17’s attempt to start a cheating scandal with model Alexandra Paressant. His response? A $20 million lawsuit. Sacre bleu! (or is that “soccer blue”? I forget which.) From TMZ:

In the lawsuit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, Parker alleges X17 defamed him, claiming, “X17 had to know that the story was false, or at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source.”

X17 published stories that French model Alexandra Paressant had “an affair with Mr. Eva Longoria and that the two carried on a secret relationship for about two months.”

The San Antonio Spur seems particularly pissed that X17 never sought to “verify the information with Mr. Parker, Ms. Longoria, any of their representatives or….anyone else who might have knowledge of the truth or falsity of the allegations.”

The suit states, “Tony Parker has never had sexual relations with a woman named Alexandra Paressant.”

This is what you get for making stuff up on a slow news day, eh?

RANT TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - SO I GIVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SKIP THIS ONE…

(more…)

Several Latin based gossip sites are reporting that Hola! magazine (a Spanish language rag) has gotten a hold of pictures of Skakira’s fiancee, Antonio De La Rua, holding hands and kissing another woman in New York. This apparently isn’t the first he’s gotten the “unfaithful” tag slapped on him, either.

Actually, he doesn’t look like much. He does look like he thinks he’s hot because he landed Shakira. It might be because he’s the son of a former President of Argentina. Hmm, haven’t there been like 72 presidents in the last 6 months alone? I don’t keep a tight eye on South American politics….

Frankly, she could do better. Much better.

“Shakira, baby! I told you! I’m just a phone call away! Don’t let that restraining order get in the way!”