CelebrityFIST!

Geez Louise, I thought Lady Gaga wasn’t a looker.  Crap.

Well, this (and I use the word loosely) is Ke$ha Sebert and she has the #1 song in America right now.  I don’t know the title of it because its irritating and it sucks.  Seems, like either me or America is wrong.  And I know it ain’t me.

Anyway, this pics were taken at the NME Awards and if you think these pics are scary, try this thought:  It took a bunch of stylists and cosmetics to make her look this ‘good’.  Imagine what’s underneath it!!

Yeah, normally, I wouldn’t put these pics up even if you put a gun to my head.  However, is an effort to keep an “open mind” (or “fractured mind” once looking at this pictures)  I decided to post them with a big DNW alert.

What could possibly be so offensive?  Easy.  Pink.  Performing at the Grammys.  In a … well … a see-thru leotard with white straps around it.  Performing what I can only assume is a Cirque De Soliel-inspired set.  I’d hunt the video but I’m afraid my testicles will permanently retract (as it is now; I’m speaking three octaves higher than normal).

So *ugh* without further ado.  Enjoy?  (Remember you WERE warned) (more…)

“With a rebel yell, she cries more more more…!”
Do you remember back in the day when Anna Paquin was cute?  No?  Well just go with me on this one okay?  At one time she was ‘cute’.  Not hot, just cute.  Well she’s all grown up and … well … uh … you know when animals are little they’re cute and fuzzy wuzzy?  Then they grow up and basically stop being cute?

Well Anna is definitely an example of that in homo sapiens.  I’m not saying she’s ugly.  I’m just saying its a good thing she’s not a dog or a cat.  Really.

Okay, I conceded once before that Amber Rose (Kanye West’s on-again, off-again) looked hot.  Mind you she was wearing jeans that may as well been sprayed on and stilletos that defied gravity.  Of course, she’s made that common misconception that just because she looked sexy in something; she looks sexy in ANYTHING (I call it “Megan Fox syndrome, type II“)

So she shows up at Elle Women in Hollywood Tribute.  Ick.  Maybe its the dress, maybe its the fact that her tattoo is showing.

Or maybe its the simple fact she bald as hell and the lights are reflecting off her head like a goddamn cueball.

She reminds of a Barbie doll my sister had.  Beat up and worn out, my sister pulled out all of its hair to see how it was stuck on there.

No punchline needed.

If this is the cover, you can imagine what the rest looks like…

As you know, I have no problem with women showing off their boobs (and everything else) if they choose to.  I’m also pretty lenient on body types - granted I usually post only the best looking ones up here (what, I’m gonna post butterfaces 24/7?  What am I?  WWTDD??    ) (more…)

PINK SMASH!

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Unless she sucks a mean dick and swallows.  Then all bets are off. 

Anyone got a razor weed whacker?
Yesterday, we had Rihanna trying way to hard to look arty (and looking like a cartoon in the process).  Today, we have Lady Gaga who really needs to just pack it in.  And by ‘it’ I mean her face.

Shocking it may be, a couple of her songs are ok (overproduced that they are) but she definitely has a “face for radio”.  She is probably one of those few people would have done much better BEFORE the Internet.  Now?  Um, she looks like a weretard who puts on random objects on her body assuming their clothing.

For example, these pictures from V Magazine show that she’s now reduced herself to putting on cotton candy and thinking she’s avant guarde for doing so.  Shit, I was wearing cotton candy when I was 5 and I never got a magazine cover (I did get a whipping though).

Plus, why actually took it upon myself to ask why Lady Gaga was on the cover of V Magazine so I went straight to the source!

American tarts sell.

Coming soon to La Cage Aux Folles…
Okay - #1:  The woman formerly known as “Fergie” is hereby demoted back to her real name Stacy Ferguson.  The reason?  You have enough reservior of ‘cool’ to maintain the single name.  Madonna is burning hers up quickly but Stacy is already done.

Anyway, Stacy Ferguson is really fucking confusing because here we have a really hot body attached to a face that looks like it has more mileage than my 2000 Kia.  To put it another way: tranny.  Succinct enough?

I dig that she has a rough go with meth (which he supposedly still has) and I shouldn’t be so quick to judge her…

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…but fuck it.  She looks like a fullback for the Arena Football League.  Or at least a Russian female weightlifter.

On the flip side, a good paperbag never really hurt anyone.  Just put a couple of holes for air circulation and she’ll be fine!

How’s it hangin’?

Apparently while we weren’t looking Katie Price (aka Jordan, I don’t know why) went out had a penis attached to her.  She apparently leans to the left now and will no doubt be making videos in Brazil soon.  I have no idea where this is from - no doubt some sorta Ladyboy Paegent in England.  Pervs those Limeys. 

BTW, I went ahead and posted some pics of her when she was still a woman just so you could contrast the differences - kinda amazing how the surgeon was able to make these changes.  Good job, Dr. Feelgood!

“The road to nowhere leads to me.”
Yeeee-ikes!  What happened, Fergie?  Seriously, I saw these pictures and I thought “when did Ozzie Osbourne get boobs?”.  Then the manhands don’t help here.  Looks just like The Oz carrying a purse or something.

Then there’s the hair, I mean shit I have my hair parting a little but I’m 41 years old and “technically” obese (I put “a few extra pounds” on my AdultFriendFinder); she however is allegedly still in her prime …. or at least younger than me.  Plus, that part looks like a headlice version of the Red Sea.  Hmm, maybe somewhere in there is a Headlice Moses saying “Let my lice go!” and the Lice Pharoah is gonna get his ass kicked!

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Well, if they find a golden flea in hair later then we’ll know the truth.

It is amazing what 4 Mountain Dews can do to the ol’ brainbox.