CelebrityFIST!

“My Daughter, My Lover” - the new book from Redneck Romances, Inc.

Sometimes the best bits of snarking just land at your feet.  Kinda like bird shit … or the economy.

Anyway, Miley Cyrus (bless her redneck little heart) seems to have stepped into it.  Again.  This time, she bemoans the fact that people think there’s something icky going on between her and her dad (as in “anatomy lessons”)…

Teen queen Miley Cyrus doesn’t like to hear comments insinuating there’s something icky between her and her famous father.

In her new memoir, Miles to Go, the actress/singer says that it bothers her when people suggest there’s something inappropriate about her relationship with her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.

“The media has said some stuff about my dad and me being too close and too cuddly for a father and a daughter,” the 16-year-old star says in the book. “For me and my dad it’s not weird at all.”

Buzz about their relationship began at the time of her now-famous Annie Leibovitz shoot for Vanity Fair. In addition to posing for some semi-nude photos, she was seen reclining against her father with his arm around her shoulder.

Miley also says that she gets hurt reading Internet stories that criticize her, saying that some people are “so full of anger, hatred and bitterness.” (Star Magazine)

WELCOME to the Real World snook-ums!! 

First off, yeah that’s a weird pic.  I made a joke (as many did) and I moved on.  The fact that she is smarting (still) from this (which happened over 900 years ago) makes me think two things:

• she needs to retire NOW.  She can’t handle this heat?  Shit - wait til she turns LEGAL!!
• it sounds like this insinuation struck a nerve - why is that?  Hmmmmmm.

Frankly, I don’t think Miley’s actually doing her dad (Jessica Simpson and her dad?  Welllllllll…), BUT the more you try to squash a ridiculous rumor - the more likely people assume its true.

The other I have screaming in my head is … “sucks to be on the OTHER end of shit, doesn’t it?”  I have a tough time believing that while she’s grown up she hasn’t at least thrown her daddy’s ‘fame’ in somebody’s face.  Sorry, even saints were human once…

These pics of her and her dad supply NO rumor fodder WHATSOEVER!!!

Man, I hope I don’t burn out again this time from Miley “I’m Innocent” Cyrus.  But dammit, it shor is fun ritenow!

Anyhoo, Miley is catching heat … yet again.  This time rather than flashing boob, it’s flashing eyes.  Slant eyes to be exact.  Dig the photo below.

Perfectly innocent photo, right?  *snort*  Wrong!

“Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American friends,” OCA executive director George Wu in a statement issued on Monday. [Reuters via The Daily Telegraph]

Fortunately, Miley has decided to apologize.  Kinda.  Sorta.  Not really.

Here is actually the whole message sent by Miley to a fansite ‘apologizing’ for the issue:

Hey guys! Just wanted to give you a quick update on whats going on in my life! Im still in Nashville, but Im heading back to LA tomorrow! Taylor and I rehearse together tomorrow in Nashville before the Grammys on Sunday! That is going to be so much fun! Ive had such a good time being home hanging out with my friend Lesley and just chillin’ out!Its good to get away from it ALL every now and then! I couldnt of planned a better week to come back to Nashville! I cant believe all of the silly STUFF that has been put out in the press this week! It really makes me sad that people want to tear other people down just for the sake of magazine sells and hits on websites! Unfortunately, it seems like BAD is what sells!>

As for the shot of me taken outside of a dressing room, I wasnt aware that some creepy paparazzi was able to get a picture of me from where I was in the store. When did it become so out of control, that I cant come out of a dressing room to show my sister a shirt Im trying on? It seems to me there needs to be better laws and more boundaries on these photographers!

Ive also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, Im sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context!

In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL’!

I feel like now that Britney is back on top of her game again, they need someone to pick on! Lucky me! haha Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what is on my heart. You guys know me and have been by my side every step of the way!

You guys know my heart and know the most important things to me are my friends, family, fans, and GOD! In NO WAY do I want to disappoint any of you! But, when I have made mistakes in the past, I feel like Ive owned up to them and apologized.

Anyway, I really wish everyone would stop focusing on my personal life and get back to focusing on what I love! Music
and Acting! Hopefully, I will be touring again this fall! Yayy! =] It will be a nice change to be back out on the road
again! xoxo Blessings.. Miley =) [via Pink Is The New Blog]

So, the message I got from her is:  “Asians have ‘goofy faces’.”  Sound about right?  Next she’ll say that burning crosses is simply a way of ‘keeping warm while cherishing religion’.

I’d say the little bitch needs a spanking but I get the feeling now she likes it better when daddy gives it to her… 

Meanwhile, Humbert Humbert is plotting…
*sigh*
Remember that rant I had about Miley Cyrus just a day or so ago?  Well, when I mentioned “nipslip” I was referring to what happened during a photoshoot while she was on a horse.  But lo and behold, she flashes sideboob!  This time she’s shopping and someone manages to take snips of her trying something out.  Okay, this is where it gets complicated for me.

• Why is she not wearing a bra?
• If she’s just trying it on … where the HELL is she gonna wear that ‘blouse’??  A lolita convention?
• Would you let your kid (and lets face it, legally she still is) wear that ANYWHERE???

You know it’s actually illegal in Texas to photograph young girls in potentially compromising positions in public?  Like cheerleaders at a football game or something.  No, really.  So the guy who took these pics would be in a shitload of trouble over here?  Over there? Eh.
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie - I’d do Miley if she wanted my dick wrapped in a bow on her 18th birthday.  Hell, I’ll let her daddy sing “Achy Breaky Heart” if he wants to while she’s going down on me.  When she’s legal.  Otherwise, this shit sucks right now as far as I’m concerned.

And YES, you can look at the pics over here (I’m not hotlinking them on principle and legal advice).
****

Meanwhile in the other corner of the Lolita Apocalypse we have Ali Lohan.  Now, Ali Lohan is potentially a worse case because 1) she obviously is enjoying the ‘attention’ and 2) her mother (Dina “do my daughters” Lohan) is no doubt behind the mechinations.   Man, we thought Lindsay was fucked up in the head??  Holy crap, Ali may need the mother of therapy courses when all is said and done.

There’s a thin line between advertising and exploitation.  Dina is approximately 10000 miles over that line.  Christ, the kid’s 15 going on 50 and will be doing the shit her sister’s doing by the time she’s 17 (if she’s not already doing it now).

What I said about Miley doesn’t even apply to Ali.  She’s a fucking mental mess.  Even now, she looks likely to cut your dick off, cook it bacon grease, and forcefeed it to you.

Her pics will be found here.
****

Dammit I need a drink…

Don’t look at with lust, there’s a cop in the right corner!!
I hate brats like Miley Cyrus.  No, really.  Especially when they dress like this.  I hear it: “But it’s a dress! She’s not revealing any skin!  You’re just a dirty old man!”

Well, yes I am and fuck you.

This is what gets me.  She collects a zillion dollars a month, her boyfriend basically lives with her so they can fuck snuggle in peace, she takes pictures of herself on her phone nearly naked.  And then we had…

THE NIPSLIP!

Only it wasn’t.  I didn’t bother posting it up because it was a non-issue.  No nipple slip.  Why?  Because any shots actually taken were so blurry you couldn’t see shit.  The hilarious part was that some were constituting the pics (such as they were) as illegal to post or even view.

…

And then she comes out looking like this in ‘everyday’ clothes?!  I’m calling “shenanigans”.  She’s wearing 3 inch heels (minimum) and the skirt is about 4 inches above the knee.  Dress like that in high school, you get detention (or straight A’s).  BUT since she’s Miley (”I’m Innocent“) Cyrus, she gets away with it.

I say - she wears a BIG ass orange construction sign that says I AM NOT LEGAL YET and not make a SINGLE dime if she shows more than an ankle, until she turns 18.

FEH!!!   >:(

Gallery courtesy of CelebrityOdor

From ContactMusic:

MILEY CYRUS left the stage midway through a concert in New Orleans, Louisiana on Saturday after telling the audience she was feeling unwell. The Hannah Montana superstar remained backstage for five minutes, before returning to finish her set. Walking to a stool onstage, the 15-year-old told the sold-out crowd, “Thanks, you guys. I feel a lot better, but I’m going to sit this one down.”

Believe me, I’m sure she’s thinking in the back of her mind, “WHEW!  Safe for another month!”  Maybe she should consider a sponsorship with Midol (for those days when you just “have to go with the flow”).
….

Aw, fuck you; like you weren’t glad when “the bill” came for your girlfriend!