CelebrityFIST!

Fuck it were rocking and relaxing today.  Got a problem with that?

However.  I am nothing if not a generous diety blogger.  If GFR doesn’t do it for you here’s Vanessa from 1ByDay in a set simply entitled “Set 6505″ (at least its perfunctory) (more…)

Closest we’ll ever get to an 18-year-old tongue … without money exchanging hands

… don’t bother trying to figure the logic of it.

Anyway, here’s Emma Roberts - the only reason she’s on here is that she’s 18 and wearing shorts.  Lets face it, sometimes it don’t take much to make it on the blog (looks whos running okay?).

Oh and the answer to headline is below the pictures… (more…)

Lets start with the dumbass intro that is supposed to make her act like she’s dreaming of this video (or an acid trip, either way).  Then the rest of the video is like an over produced version of every video made before this.  Its like the director decided to use EVERY tool in his application, turned it up all the way and they DID IT AGAIN.

Remember those Aubrey O’Day pics in Playblech that made her look computer generated?  Yeah, like that - except in video.

Let’s slice up her dress into little strips but don’t show any nip.  WTF?  So she’s a fucking Barbie doll now?  It would be the same to have her topless but show no nipplage.  Censors be damned, that’s fucking unnatural.

This is easily the most bloated overproduced piece of shit I’ve seen since fuck immemorial.

Wow - just after dealing with the Michael Jackson mess now I see these Mariah Carey pictures which only leave me with a headache.

*sigh*  Well, it seems that this pics are of her filming her latest music video, “Obsessed” (no, don’t know the song).  Anyway, apparently she dresses up as a dude in some of these and supposedly take a shot at Enimem by dressing up in a hoodie.  I “apparently” because I don’t think Enimem is a gay Puerto Rican trick-turner (but hey I’m still catching up on my gossip, so I guess its possible).

Well I tried to intersperse the ‘dude’ pics with the ‘chick’ pics if only for variety - and only so my head don’t hurt so much.  On the plus side, she still has a nice set of lungs as a chick and I would still totally ram it down her vocal cords but I’m afraid these ‘dude’ pics now put her in the “2 Drink minimum” category.
Sorry, Mimi.  Stick as a chick.

Thinks this is bad - should’ve seen the pics I didn’t post!

Ok, I’m wearing a wrist brace cuz my carpal tunnel’s acting up - apologies for any misspells in advance.

You have to hand it to Universal Music Group.  They like they’re talent pool alive and vibrant.  Well, at least alive anyway.  Take for example, Amy Winehouse.  Woman’s on her sixth month of her St. Lucia ‘retreat’.  Hon, that ain’t a retreat; that’s a full-fledged surrender!    Not that she’s actually paying for any of it; Universal is: (more…)

There are simply some things that should occur.  Take Beyonce’s atrocious song “Single Ladies“.  Never mind the fact the song is stupid in and of itself, the video is just her and some back up dancers dancing.  Yawn.  NEXT!

Then comes Justin Timberlake doing send-up of it on Saturday Night Live and suddenly its this internet sensation.  Especially when apparently every irritating attention whore decides to do their own weretarded version of Beyonce’s weretarded video.

NOW?  We get Joe Jonas - who never looked straight in the first place - doing his version of the video.  Franklyk we here at ChaozCentral are both stunned and proud.  Stunned because - well just look at the damn thing!  Proud?  Well, it’s never easy coming outta the closet I’m sure but at least he did it in such a flamboyant manner!  Good for him.

At least now when I hear of an annoying teenybopper going nuts for the Jonas Brothers, all I have to do is dialup this video on my phone and I’ll get to enjoy the tears the stupid brat will shed as she watches her idol dancing in pumps.  Poorly.

Yes - I’m asshole; but we’ve established that haven’t we?

‘Circus’?  More like ‘Freakshow’.
As you can tell with the Catching Up With posts, I’m trying to - well “catch up” on the news.  Sorry but look at this way, a nice condensed version of all the shit they do.  Case in point:  Britney Spears.

She’s still on tour, which is kinda miracle in a way since I was positive this thing would been cancelled 4 shows in with Britney feigning “exhaustion” or something.  Nope, she’s still cranking it out - and leaving a path of destruction behind her.

First on April 19th in Anaheim - she … uh, leaves something sticking out.  Urp.

Next on April 22nd in Oakland - she leaves her hair behind…

Then on May 3rd in Ucansville, CT - this little story to remind us why she should have never reproduced.

[Britney’s sons Jayden and Sean] pulled down the silk drapes and broke an expensive vase in the living room. They also left crayon marks all over the walls. … One of the boys messed in his pants while in the pool — leaving other swimmers horrified.  (PopCrunch)

Well the American part of the tour is over (thank the Gods); but she still found time to make one more - um - splash before moving on to Europe.

The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.” A rep for Spears didn’t return e-mails. But at least she didn’t let her dog poop on the clothes like she did at an OK! magazine shoot last year. (NYPost)

Three things:  1)  EW!EW!EW!EW!  2) She can still reproduce.  &  3) EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!