CelebrityFIST!

Sorry had to go get some beer to take with my Xanax … mmm, “Quadruple Equis” is gooooooood….
Okay, here’s a second dose for today (since the first was at about 1am).  Enjoy!

Laetitia Casta … Audrina Partridge …  Jennifer Love Hewitt … Marisa Miller … Amanda Seyfried

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Geez Louise, I thought Lady Gaga wasn’t a looker.  Crap.

Well, this (and I use the word loosely) is Ke$ha Sebert and she has the #1 song in America right now.  I don’t know the title of it because its irritating and it sucks.  Seems, like either me or America is wrong.  And I know it ain’t me.

Anyway, this pics were taken at the NME Awards and if you think these pics are scary, try this thought:  It took a bunch of stylists and cosmetics to make her look this ‘good’.  Imagine what’s underneath it!!

Happy Hedgehog Day from ChaozCentral.  What?  “Groundhog Day”?  Nah, we don’t these lame ass holidays here.  Instead of the fat ass groundhog we use a lovely hedgehog we found on the side of the road in Tuscaloosa.  So his name is ‘Tuscaloosa Tim’.  And no, we don’t check the fucking weather with Tim.  Nope, the rules are simple - if Tim talks, every man will get a blowjob in the next 24 hours.  If he doesn’t talk, we no such luck.

Let’s see … Okay Tim - DO YOUR STUFF!

“…”

C’mon.  Just one syllable.

“…”

SHIT, well maybe next time guys!  How about some eyecandy instead!  Tomorrow, I’ll be showing you how to hedgehog burgers!!  Bon Appetit!  Pics after the jump!! (more…)

I see a pattern forming here….

No wait that’s just my spinning.  Never mind.  Enjoy! (more…)

Still tripping (and drinking) but before I get too blitzed…

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Well we had a Gratuitous yesterday so lets go a little more Celebrity.  Don’t worry there’s one nude set in this mix so you all don’t fall asleep during this post.    Enjoy!! (more…)

Julia Roberts (x1), Cameron Diaz (x1), Heidi Klum (x3, with husband Seal), Zoe Saldana (x1), Julie Benz (x1)

Kate Hudson

Mariah Carey (and her ‘talents’)

Anna Paquin (with someone who is surely NOT her dentist)

Penelope Cruz (x1), Heather Graham (x1), Stacy Ferguson (aka Fergie, x1)

“It’s coming up, it’s coming up, IT’S THERE…”
Okay so she’s actually been legal since 9 January, she didn’t hold her part til the 16th.  For those of you who didn’t make it out to the bash in Vegas here’s a few pics of her.

She actually turned 21 so its not like a big deal - she just can now buy alcohol legally.  Though I’m sure she’s probably been buying it since she was 16 and probably had her ‘people’ buying it for her before that.  Eh.

*sigh* Why are people so full of shit.  (Look this is quick rant - just skip to the pics - your call)  Anyway, had one person call in on my yesterday.  Today that person showed up but ANOTHER called in.  And now I just got a call that a THIRD person is calling in tomorrow.  Why?  In each of these cases their snot-nosed brats are sick. 

Fine I’m bias - not let me bitch.  Guess what?  We all got bills.  Sucks when a kid is sick I get it - but unless you got no relatives or unless your kid got hit with a Mack truck and is in the hospital, sorry, I’m playing my “asshole” card.  Yes, I’m single.  Yes, I don’t have a regular fuck.  Yes, I know kids “are a gift from God”.

I didn’t inseminate the uterus okay?  Deal with it.

*ARGH*  Okay that’s outta the way (for now).

The Golden Globes apparently happened.  The reason I’m so on the ball with this is because there’s red carpet pics abounding on the Net.  So in my effort to continue to pretend this is a CELEB blog (and not just titty blog - which we all know it is).  Let’s post some of these pics shall we?

Jennifer Morrison

Perrey Reeves

Sofia Vergara

<

Okay, you really don’t give a shit where she’s at right?  Actually, you don’t give two hoots and a holler about where these people are. They could be a Walmart in the photo department getting some pictures done.  Frankly, I feel the same way - so we’re doing away with specifics (though I keep the details on file so I don’t duplicate my own crap).

So, who’s Dianna Agron?  Well apparently she’s on the tv show Glee (which is a rip-off of High School Musical which is  rip-off of Grease which is … you get the idea).  Anyway, she went to the same party as Anna “Jonah Hex” Paquin so I thought I’d give her her own spot.

This one is kinda (semi-)hard.  She’s a little hottie but that dress is … well.  Let’s just say I’d pluck her then fuck her.  Sound about right?

I’d also stuff her.  Pour some my gravy on her.

… you know I’ve got like a page of this stuff but you know what I mean…