CelebrityFIST!

From CNN:

Michael Vick, once one of the highest paid players in the National Football League, was sentenced to 23 months in prison for financing a dogfighting ring and helping to kill pit bulls that did not fight aggressively.

Vick’s stunning downfall from NFL superstar to disgraced dogfighting defendant culminated Monday in a 90-minute sentencing hearing in federal court in Richmond, Virginia.

Vick was dressed in a black-and-white striped prison suit and apologized to the his family and to the judge.

“You need to apologize to the millions of young people who looked up to you,” responded U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson.

Vick also acknowledged he used “poor judgment” and added he was ready to accept responsibility.

Vick, 27, had faced a maximum of five years in prison. Federal sentencing guidelines recommended a sentence of 12 to 18 months

Michael Vick didn’t do anything right:  he lied during a polygraph test about not killing dogs, he smoked marijuana while on bail then lied to an officer about it.  He basically thought he would get away with all of it.

You got PWNED! motherfucker.  You also didn’t get enough time IMO.  See you in 2009, Michael Dick.

Meet Anna Rawson. She wants to conquer the world of golf. The 26-year-old from Australia just earned her LPGA card sending her to top tournaments. She’s also a professional model.

Yeah, I thought that would get your attention.

“I am very excited to be apart of this elite and diverse group of athletes,” said Rawson, “My continuous goal is to raise the profile of women’s golf, and this new phase in my career will allow me to make more strides to do so.”

The multi-talented 26 year-old had a very fruitful year from placing second at the Swiss Open on the Ladies European Tour to participating in major fashion photoshoots in a myriad of magazines all over the world, such as GQ Spain, Vogue Japan, Cosmopolitan Finland, and GQ UK.

As GQ writer Benjie Goodhart said about Rawson, “They say Tiger Woods made golf popular with people who previously felt excluded from the game. This player could make golf popular with people who hate golf.”(source)

I really would like to see her win. Unlike Anna Kournikova, who was basically hot but didn’t have much game in tennis. Even Maria Sharapova, who became a model after being a tennis phenom. She’ll be able to prove that models can do sports. Well “sports” if you mean swinging a ball with a stick into a tiny hole, then picking it up and then starting all over again.

Plus this gives me a chance to use all those golf-related talk like: “I’d wish she’d play with my putter.” or “Watch out for that water hazard.” or “Um, that’s a nice birdie.”

Can someone please tell me where what planet these fucking celebs live on because I wanna go there. Let me just pack my bags (of coke) and I’ll be ready…

Mike Tyson was given a whopping one day of jail time for cocaine possession and driving under the influence. Associated Press wasted space by noting:

“I take responsibility for my actions,” Tyson told the judge. He left the courthouse flanked by supporters, lit a cigar and drove away in the back of a black Mercedes.

The 41-year-old boxer will serve his day in jail Tuesday for DUI. He received three years of probation for the cocaine charge and also will have to pay a fine, submit to drug testing and serve 360 hours of community service.

“Lit a cigar”? Was this before or after the judge swallowed his sperm? I’m not joking:

Prosecutors had argued that Tyson should be behind bars, given his violent criminal past. But Superior Court Judge Helene Abrams was impressed with how the boxer has tried to atone following his Dec. 29 arrest in which his car almost hit a sheriff’s deputy’s vehicle.

“You worked to address your addiction and self-destructive behavior,” Abrams said before sentencing him.

Prosecutor Shane Krauser recommended one year in prison, although the maximum was four years, three months. Krausner said Tyson was a multiple offender who previously had been convicted of a violent crime and that only now has he sought treatment for his drug addiction.

At least the prosecutor realized the severity of Tyson’s actions. And before anyone starts with this bullshit that “he was programmed to be a fighter” or “society made him this way” remember that this motherfucker had money coming out of his ass at one point and nobody was feeling sorry for him THEN. Come to think of it, if you tried to go near him then; he’d probably just beat the living shit out you and then rape you.

Kinda like he did here.

I’m feel pretty / Oh, so pretty…
Remember this picture? Yeah, unfortunately, so do I. Anyway, a lot of us in BlogLand dismissed these are Photoshop fakes and moved onto more serious things (like Britney, Paris, etc).

Well - guess what? I think their legit. Cuz now the stripper photographer who took them is now suing DeLaHoya for $100 MILLION DOLLARS! (Dr. Evil pinky) ZOINKS!

MUCH MORE after the jump!

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It’s funny how so much interesting news falls through the cracks. Or more to the point - by not being on the Internet 24/7 you might miss an important story or two. Starting with this one…

In >ahem< researching the previous post, I discovered this lovely cheerleader named Becca Manns from the University of Louisville.

and … uh … spreading her legs for the camera.

After the jump, a whole bunch of pics of her in all of her glory. And I do mean all. (more…)