CelebrityFIST!

As if in answer to Ali Lohan; we now see the “rise” of Miley Cyrus (what kinda name is that anyway?).

So let me see if I got this straight: Miley plays a kid named “Miley” (how cute) who has a “secret identity” as pop teen sensation “Hannah Montana”?

Sounds more like “split personality” and extensive therapy to me.

Anyway, Miley went with her mother Tish to the American Music Awards last week and of course the paps gobbled them up (I hope only metaphorically). What is disturbing is that despite all the make up in the world, the kids STILL only 14. Remember when childhood was until their 18th birthday? Why do they insist in dressing in bright red like a child prostitute?? Are kids nowadays THAT starved for attention???

….

Never mind, I forgot I’m talking about teens and the parents who ride their coattails. Heaven forbid I ask my kid what they want for Xmas and they say, “A recording contract and a sitcom.” Because then I will be beating the shit outta them til they turn 18.

Sources: Splash News Online & TMZ

In just another sign of The Man holding a rich Black man down; Wesley Snipes was unable to get his tax evasion case moved to New York.  This even though his legal team tried to show that current location (Ocala, Florida) is racist.

From WENN:

U.S. prosecutors have rejected Wesley Snipes’ claims he won’t get a fair trial in Florida on tax evasion charges because of racial prejudice.

Snipes is due to stand trial in the city of Ocala in Marion County in January, on charges he fraudulently claimed tax refunds of almost $12 million in 1996 and 1997. He is also accused of failing to file tax returns from 1999 to 2004.

His legal team attempted to get the case moved to New York, alleging Ocala is “a hotbed of (Ku Klux Klan) activity” and that prosecutors chose it so Snipes would face an all-white jury.

But the claims have been described as “baseless” by federal prosecutors.

U.S. Attorney Robert O’Neill filed a complaint on Tuesday that reads, “Defendant Snipes’ motion hurls scurrilous and baseless accusations at the prosecution and citizenry of Ocala in an overwrought attempt to have this case dismissed or transferred to another venue.”

In other words, “shut the FUCK up”!

This isn’t like a chump change either: $12 million.  Makes you wonder if maybe he wrote off all of his cars as “investments” and his house as “a church” or something.  On the other hand, I haven’t seen him in anything in a LONG time … did he even MAKE $12 million in those years??

I say:  Fuck you.  I pay, you pay, Wes.  Now pay up.

Would you like fries with that?
From Splash News Online:

Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick Bollea, has lost his driving license for a year after being convicted for dangerous driving. The little Hogan was involved in a street racing accident in August that has left his passenger, John Graziano, in critical condition.

Hogan was arrested after turning himself in earlier this month on charges of reckless driving and has been ordered to pay an undisclosed fine.

That’s it? Loses his license for a year after nearly killing his “friend”? And who’s supposed to drive him around then? His mother?

Amazing how “the system” works only for some people. The rest, “let’em slide - they’re famous!”

Grrrrrr…

What is it about England that makes their women grow such big boobs? Is it all that Guinness? Or maybe it’s soggy weather they get? Or (heaven forbid) - it’s their food?

::shudder::

Rather not think about that now. Anyway, we have today the lovely Gemma Atkinson; just another in a loooong line of big-busted Brits. I don’t how they do it; I just hope those Limeys just keep sending them across the pond.

(yeah, I know - very original headline, eh?)

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are not to pleased that Showtime has stolen co-oped the name “Californication” for the it’s title of a series starring David Duchovny. In fact, they have now sued the cable channel.

The lawsuit claims the term is “inherently distinctive, famous and … is widely recognized” as being associated with the band.

“Californication is the signature CD, video and song of the band’s career,” lead singer Anthony Kiedis said in a statement to the Associated Press. “For some TV show to come along and steal our identity is not right.”

The suit also names series creator Tom Kapinos and two production companies. It seeks a permanent injunction against using the name “Californication” along with unnamed damages, legal fees and profits earned from the show.

Also, one of the characters has the nickname of - get this - “Dani California”.

Well, you gotta hand it to Showtime for having the balls to outright steal the names and think they’d just get away with it. Sorry. I’m all for stealing (I run a fucking blog!) but I try to credit when possible. Plus, Californication (the album) is definitely a highwater mark for the Peppers. I myself assumed (like most) that Showtime had actually paid for the use of the terms. Ha! Go get’em Peppers!

NOW I know who I feel sorry for - Britney’s family. Here they are trying to get the “Swamp Thang” to go back to rehab (where she basically got laid more than most of us do clubbing) and I can already tell you this shit ain’t gonna work. But I admire their balls.

Unless they’re doing it to lay the groundwork to have her committed. In which case, I admire their brains as well. From OK! magazine:

(H)er family, who attempted a drawn-out impromptu intervention at the troubled superstar’s Malibu home in October, are banding together to ask Brit to give rehab another try.

“Brit’s parents, her brother Bryan, and her sister Jamie Lynn, were all hopeful she’d do what she needed to do to keep her children,” a family friend reveals. “But she seemed to just thumb her nose at everyone. So they are going to attempt another intervention and hopefully save her from herself.”

“Although her mom and dad are divorced, they are banding together for the sake of their daughter and their grandsons,” the family friend tells OK!. “Her sister and brother have been meeting with their parents to figure out the best way to confront Britney. They know she needs a huge wake-up call if she is going to be successful in keeping her children and putting her life back on track.”

Of course, this is entire dependent on whether she WANTS the kids back. This is not a woman who looks like she “kinda” fucked up motherhood. If she was NOT Britney but some trailer trash whore (which, she is); then the point would be moot since the kids would have been LONG gone from her house. Hell, the only reason she ain’t in jail is she just has enough brains to do all the really STOOPID shit out sight of the paps.

Face it - if running the red lights while texting someone is what she does when people are around; can you even IMAGINE what she does when she’s alone with them????

::::shudder:::: :O

Well, it was inevitable, we now have Xtina’s roast beef on display. Uh - maybe. It’s honestly hard to tell because the shot’s obscured by the tinted window. Also, it looks like she wearing hose, but — AH, HELL — you be the judge and let me know, okay? Okay.

Also, we couldn’t we get to see this BEFORE she got preggers. Damn, now I feel all dirty inside. Blech!

(Pics after the jump)

(more…)

From People.com:

Mary-Kate Olsen has been hospitalized with a kidney infection, her rep tells PEOPLE.

The actress entered the emergency room of a New York hospital on Monday.

“Mary Kate got a kidney infection,” says rep Nicole Caruso. “She’s resting comfortably and will be released in the next day or so.”

The actress, who turned 21 in June, recently said she was in good health.

“Mentally, physically, I feel pretty on top of my game right now,” she told EW.com in September, as she prepared for her debut in Showtime’s Weeds. “Talk to me next week, I don’t know. Today, I feel good.”

You just get the impression that the twins are made of glass or something. Maybe they were actually supposed to one person but somehow split into two. Hmm, maybe that means that if you put the two together you get “Mega-Olsen” or they have “Olsen Twin Powers ACTIVATE! Shape of a giant gorilla! Form of a pail of water!” Pail of water? See, that’s why the Wonder Twins always suck.

Yeah, I’ll be honest I don’t know who she is. Apparently she’s a UK Model and “reality” star (how the FUCK do you ’star’ in ‘reality’?). Unimportant. What is important (at least for us at Chaoz Central) is that she charges “only” $20 grand (£10,000) to fuck her.

Yes, the sluggish economy is apparently even hitting celebrities.

So this guy from News Of The World (kinda like The National Enquirer but without scruples) manages to hook up for a “date” with Sophie for the agreed price. She then makes a complete ass of herself (as if being a whore weren’t enough) by:

bitching about other celebs like Kate Moss…

“She’s about to screw up again. She is a fuckng nightmare. She has got big, big problems,” said Sophie. “She’s not clever. She’s got that innocence about her and men always get really protective over her.”

Sophie also made a disgusting sexual slur about Kate that cannot be printed.

expounding on her sexual prowess…

(S)he was “cool” with giving her punter oral sex. “I know that I’m great in bed,” she added. “But if I don’t feel comfortable with something I’m not going to go along with it and be fake. I don’t do the whole fake thing.”

promoting herself and her friend will fuck the guy for the weekend (for an extra fee, of course)…

(S)he didn’t hate it that much when our man asked how much she would charge for a weekend sex romp in the Bahamas.

“It’ll be 15 grand a day,” she said. Sophie then offered to bring girlfriends. After she rang three pals, one of them agreed to go for £5,000.

“She’s got long dark hair, she’s a bit younger than me, she’s one of my best friends,” said Sophie.

“If you are going to have fun, you are going to have a few drinks, a few lines, at the end of the day, it’s quite laid back.”

and snorting up enough coke to make Robert Downey Jr jealous…

She was keen to make sure the sex was fuelled by cocaine. So she offered to call her cocaine dealer, a girl called Isabella. “It’s £50 a gram. And it’s in rocks as well—it’s not cut,” said Sophie. “She’s very trustworthy. She’s a friend of mine. This is the only person I go to and she stops working at 11.”

Worse, still? The guy got it on video. Check and fucking mate, Ms. Anderton.

Snorting video

Stripping video

Her and a friend for fucking video

Of course, since this she has lost a six-figure endorsement contract and now has decided to enter rehab. Surprise, surprise. If this doesn’t pan out she can always host “Pimp My Bitch Up” - only on Fox!

I decided NOT to show the same crappy vidcaps as everyone else, so here’s some good ones of her… (more…)

I’ve long decided that family - in general - is not where you really need to be raised with. Why? Well, most families are an accumulation of various psychoses and neuroses that have been taught and bred from one generation to the next. Ever wonder why the next generation is more fucked up than the last? Well, there you go.

But rather that go off the deep end pondering that mental turd; let’s look at a random example … say, the Hogans here. Now, daddy Hulk is washed-up former wrestler, momma Linda is a golddigger trophy wife typical wife, daughter Brooke is budding porn star cumbucket pop star, and son Nick is a giant fuck-up.

Back in August, fuck-up Nick was charged with felony reckless driving after a crash leaves a friend in a coma, and after Nick was pulled over four times for speeding. So of course, the rest of the family has noted that they are TOTALLY against street racing and don’t condone it.

Welllllllllll, it’s too bad they didn’t say that a couple of years ago. Seems, those relentless investigators at ABC-TV in Tampa uncovered a video entitled “Vehicular Lunatics” in which both Linda and Brooke are racing these guys in their Mercedes S600:

At one point, Linda Bollea (Hogan) is seen alongside another car. Linda Bollea is driving a car identified as a Mercedes S600. Her daughter, Brooke is her passenger. Brooke says to the men in the adjacent car, “Wanna race?” One of the men replies, “Yeah! We love racing you! On three.” Brooke replies, “Let’s do this. Alright.” Then Linda Bollea says “Let’s kick it.”

The cars take off, but their speeds are not known.

Nick Bollea and his father Terry Jean, better known from his wrestling days as Hulk Hogan, are also seen in the documentary.

At one point in the documentary, his mother was asked how she feels about street racing. Her answer: “Oh, I love it. I love it. The rush, the speed on the road, stereo blasting, heart-pounding, racing in between all the cars, dodging the cops. It’s awesome.”

Nice to see that the family that races together, stays together. Right?