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CelebrityFIST! » Archive for December, 2007

Archive for December, 2007

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Dec 21 2007

Friday Night’s Porn Night! (NSFW - duh)

Posted by: Chaoz in Gratuitous Goodies

Twas the Friday Before Xmas

And All Were Gift-wrapping

Save for the pervert

In His Room Alone Fapping…..

Well, that’s how I remember it….Let’s see what Santa Chaoz has in his sticky bag of tricks…

(more…)

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Dec 21 2007

Hot Penis Action … On Rachel Ray?

Posted by: Chaoz in Hot Penis Action
You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video
See, this is what’s ruining America today:  the exploitation of America’s men on national tv to satisfy the lurid eyes of a gyno-centric society.  It’s simply shocking how the camera just lingers on the men’s private parts and uses the flimsy excuse of “simply showing off the shorts”.  Yes, I’m sure they are “showing off” indeed!  You don’t see this happen to women and th-
…what?  Yes, that’s my magazine collection.  Playboy?  I read it for the articles, of course.  Penthouse?  Um, good science articles in that.  Juggs?  Um … er … I’m studying the effects that animals injected with hormones have within our food chain, particularly female hormones.*
Actually it’s kinda funny when Rachel is busy checking out the guys.  You can almost hear her getting wetter.
Ok, maybe not so much funny as scary.
*-(I actually used that excuse one on an ex, it didn’t work then either)

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Dec 21 2007

Jenna Jameson Needs A Sandwich

Posted by: Chaoz in Jenna Jameson

Jenna_Jameson_then.jpgJenna_Jameson_now.jpg

Another happy client of the South Bronx Parasite Paradise Diet


I’ll repeat myself - I’ve never been big on Jenna Jameson (literally). Miko Lee? Daisy Dukes? Yeah. But, Jenna? Nope. And at the rate she’s going down, it’ll never happen.

See, somewhere along the way, she forgot about eating. And I don’t mean eating sperm either; “woman does not live on sperm alone” as someone once said.

And if they didn’t let me know so I can submit my saying to the quote book … but I digress.

Maybe she got her tummy stapled on top of everything else. Of course, the way her plastic surgeon fucked up everything else, her intestines are no probably connected to her vagina (which would explain alot).


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Dec 21 2007

Best Comment On The Writers’ Strike

Posted by: Chaoz in Miscellaneous Shit

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iamgeWe would like to return to work with our writers. If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence.iamge

– Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert

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Dec 21 2007

Gratuitous Goodies for 12/21/2007

Posted by: Chaoz in Gratuitous Goodies

Aussie biker chick Erin Normoyle:

Erin Normoyle with a pearl necklaceErin Normoyle holds her titsErin Normoyle toplessErin Normoyle in bikini in Ralph Magazine, December 2007

Ice-T shows off his ‘ho’/wife, Coco:

coco04.jpgcoco02.jpgcoco031.jpgcoco01.jpgcoco00.jpgSilverGoldLatexBalloons1.jpg
Megan Fox gets topless (but shows nothing) in Top List Japan:

megan-fox-topless-rsj-01.jpgmegan-fox-topless-rsj-02.jpgmegan-fox-topless-rsj-03.jpg

And, Scarlett Johansson makes an appearance in Elle Belgium:

scarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-02.jpgscarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-03.jpgscarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-06.jpgscarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-07.jpgscarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-09.jpgscarlett-johansson-elle-belgium-04.jpg

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Dec 20 2007

“MEANWHILE….” for 12/20/07

Posted by: Chaoz in Meanwhile
hilary-duff-picks-nose.jpg
Hilary Duff going for the gold.
Wesley Snipes still saying “The Man” is trying to bring him down. Daily Stab
Beyonce may have married Jay-Z. Celebslam
John Travolta got canned from the “Dallas” movie. IDLYITW
Julia Roberts says she won’t go naked again for a movie (Thank you, Lord). IMDb
Jennifer Lopez is going “underground” with her fat ass. Lossip
Xtina’s going C-section for her birth. The Sun
Mischa Barton now says she’s going to quit acting (Once again - thank you). ContactMusic
Jenna Jameson’s still breathing … I think. SplashNewsOnline
Brooke Burke feels like a “baby factory”. (Hun, that’s because you are) People.com

Dec 20 2007

Calendar Calamity #5-7 (yeah, NSFW - but OH so worth it)

Posted by: Chaoz in Miscellaneous Shit

Well, 2007 is sputtering to an end; much like that Kia Sephia someone STILL has! Also, I haven’t posted enough calendar goodness, SO….

#5 - Aisleyne Aisle-seat Horgan Wallace gets VERY naked for her calendar. Bless her boobs.

AHW calendar.jpg Trust me - this is as clothed as she gets.

#6 - Keeley Hazell shows off “the girls” and gives us a reason to enjoy the coming year.

#7 - Natalia Bush - a bit horse-facey but she’s got a sweet body and not afraid to show it off.

7714209.jpg

All the good stuff is available after the jump.  Enjoy! (more…)

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Dec 20 2007

It’s Flash-O-Rama Time

Posted by: Chaoz in Miscellaneous Shit, The Flash!, Paris
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Well it’s seems to be that time of year again when the gash flash is beginning to bloom again. The good news - it’s not Britney. The bad news - well, it’s Paris (among others).

See ya after the jump (more…)

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Dec 20 2007

Megan Fox Likes Using Her Hands

Posted by: Chaoz in Out and About, Megan Fox
Megan Fox is a very thoughtful person. She has no medical training whatsoever yet she’s more than happy to help her pal out with a testicular exam. “No, no lumps there - though you have something growing really fast in there!!“
Seriously, I hate it when chicks grab a guy’s junk in public. Of course, that’s because it’s not MY junk they’re grabbing. Me next! Me next!
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Dec 20 2007

Gratuitous Goodies for 12/20/2007

Posted by: Chaoz in Gratuitous Goodies

Old-tyme Jill Hennessey goodness (before she had her kids):

imageimageimageimageimageimage

(Pointless Chaozfactoid: Knew a girl who looked and talked just like her … had about as much luck with her as I would’ve with Ms. Hennessey)

Big Brother UK “celebrity” Danielle Lloyd apparently turning tricks at her own birthday party:
imageimageimageimageimageimageimage

Anne Hathaway hamming it up for the camera:

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And lastly, Megan Fox looking slutty hot at the “Breakthrough Of The Year Awards” … what type of award is that???

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage imageimageimageimageimageimageimage imageimage

NOT BONUS - Jenna Elfman need a shave!

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