CelebrityFIST!

Well, we’re about to start.  The red carpet is out…  I’ve got my tux and tails t-shirt and shorts.  We’ll See how this goes shall we?

I’ll be posting mainly here but will have subsequent posts up regarding the winners of the major categories:  Best Supporting Actor/Actress, Best Actor/Actress, Best Director, Best Picture.

Let’s kick back and see how bad this sucks.  Shall we?

Wants to referee the next Celebrity Boxing special
*sigh* In this prejudicial country we call the ‘United’ States (and don’t get me started on THAT); we realize that some people are offended by some things.  That said - stupidity has no race, no gender, no sexual orientation, no political or religious affiliations.  ‘The Stupidity’ kinda like ‘The Force’ - it’s fuckin’ everywhere.

And with that I present to you Kenan Thompson on Chris Brown (ya know, the dude who messed up Rihanna’s face): (boldface’s mine)

Saturday Night Live might still consider having the 19-year-old singer perform in the future, according to series regular Kenan Thompson.

“It’s not up to me, but I’m sure we would if he had another hit single,” Thompson tells Usmagazine.com. “We don’t care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!”

And…

Thompson did not know if SNL — which most recently had the Jonas Brothers perform on their Valentine’s Day episode to boost viewership — invited Brown or Rihanna back to the show.

“If we had them both on the show, that would be crazy,” Thompson told Us at the GBK Luxury Lounge in L.A. on Friday.

Thompson, a regular on the sketch show, says that this particular scandal is “an unfortunate situation.

“I don’t know the whole story, but I know how women can get when you get a text message from another female, so I’m just saying, you have to learn that you can’t put your hands on a female.”

…

…

Hmm.  Sounds like this guy’s might be going back to tell jokes at the Chuckle Hut on Open Mike night again or maybe go back to “Fat Burger”.  Who cares?

Little do they know she’s lifted $50K in jewelry.  It’s for a part, ya know.
Well first a belated Happy Birthday to Jennifer Love Hewitt who turned 30 on Saturday.  The Big 3-0.  Well, kinda big in this case.  So she decided to apparently celebrate it by having Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  How cute.  You know, JLH that that croissant (breakfast burrito?) is gonna go straight to your hips.  OH NOES! Too late. 

Seriously, she’s got birthing hips like Octomom.  How many kids has JLH had anyway?  Four?  Nine?  …. NONE?!  Gedafukout!

Oscar - gets blown more than I do…

So I’m better just in time for something else to make me sick - namely the Oscars.  The most pretentious awards in all of creation.  Oy.

There was a time when Oscars actually were fun but I think that went with the rise of “THE INDIE”.  Now don’t get me wrong I love indie films.  Some of my favorites are ‘outside the box’ as it were.  But when you get a Oscar show beamed to half the planet and it’s 99% of the films you would NEVER pay to watch in the first place.  Well, you have a problem.

This is year is no different.  This year the host is Hugh Jackman.  Now Wolverine did a decent job (apparently) at the Tonys so The Academy figured “Why not?” But its seems that the Oscars will be … well, “very different”:

SONG-AND-DANCE (JACK)MAN: “Hugh (Jackman, the host) is going to come out and say a few things, but he’s not going to do a 10-minute monologue … He’s going to be doing a lot of musical stuff, so that will have a different feel to it.” — Vilanch, in an interview with The Associated Press.

NEED A MONTAGE: The original song nominees will be presented together in a medley-style performance, rather than sprinkled throughout the show and played in their entirety. — Nominee Peter Gabriel, who announced in a video blog on his Web site that he was declining to perform “Down To Earth” from “WALL-E” to protest the one-minute limit for his part.

NIGHTCLUB JITTERS: “The look of the theater is very different. It’s more like the nightclub of your dreams. It’s very intimate. … It’s got to be a lot closer.” — Jackman, in an AP interview.NEVERENDING STORY: “The show’s got a narrative line this year, so all the awards are grouped around that. The sequence in which they’re given is dictated by this narrative.” — Vilanch.

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE: Five LED flat-screens will move in and out of the set to help carry out the show’s “narrative.” The entire sets will change and evolve, “powered by a visual narrative that will unfold through 12 transforming sets throughout the night.” — The Rockwell renderings.

PRESENTING … PRESENTERS!: “There are different people doing groups of awards instead of a different set for each one.” And at least some of the presenters who’d been lined up have backed out, emboldened by the anonymity they were afforded by the producers. — Vilanch, who didn’t name names.

MUSIC, MAKES THE PEOPLE, COME TOGETHER: The original-song medley will have a vibrant, world-music theme driven by nominee “Slumdog Millionaire,” and includes a drum line made up of Indian, African, Japanese and Chinese percussionists. The “giant extravaganza” also has a full orchestra and choir. — DJ Ravi Drums, the leader of the drum line for the number. (Yahoo! News)

0_O

So we have a nightclub, world-music, and a story line.

…

Great - It’s gonna be something like this:

Well, I’m gonna TRY to live blog the Oscars today - assuming I don’t fall asleep.  Oh and I only saw half of the movies up for major awards for the show (which is still more than I’ve watched since God knows when).

Scrumptious.

That is Isla Fisher in a single word.  Not only is she redhead (have I told you I - [everyone: YES!!] - oh), she’s always looked hot, even now that she’s officially a MILF.  Granted she is engaged to Borat and he’s making her convert to Judaism (whatever happened to tolerance?) before they get married; but DAMN - she’s cute.

She could be a druid for all I care; I’ll make a mini-Stonehenge in the backyard, if it helps!!
I first saw her in a UK shoot for some magazine (she was starring in a soap opera) around 1994 and fell in lust for the first time.

NOTE: these are from that actual photoshoot.  Yes, they left THAT much of imprint on my head (can you blame me?)

So, even now she looks simply fantastic.  All I can say is: those legs!  those legs!  those legs!!

Incredibly hot without looking like a Hollywood whore is why she’s a ChaozBabe in my book!

Just posting an update on the current ruckus with Rihanna and Chris Brown.  Basically, he has said he’s sorry.  Rihanna supposedly rejected his apology.  But she still loves him.

…

And now THE PICTURE comes out.  Of course, I’m talking about the picture of her with her injuries.  Frankly it’s not a pretty sight and I’m not posting it up directly.  But here’s a link to Drunken Stepfather who has posted up the pick (via TMZ).

Suffice to say she got fucked up pretty good.  Sad.

Unca Chaoz has never struck, choked, or even pushed a woman.  Ok, I pushed my sister once when she was 3 and I was 6 (and promptly got a spanking).  Suffice to say, that while I have been frustrated with women MANY times in my life (as noted by the 14/15 failed romances) - never has it comes to physical confrontation.

*Sigh* that said.  These two have a serious problem.  HE needs to get his act together (what’s left of it) and SHE needs to get off this “But I still love him” bullshit and get some serious fucking counseling.  Because if she goes back to him; no one is gonna help her ass out.

Oh - and to all those that say “Oh I hope this puts the spotlight on Domestic Violence“.  WTF?  How is this gonna make a difference really?  Most people are just gonna say, “Oh look woman, they fight just like we do!“.  Or worse, “just another black couple arguing“.  Argh.  Sometimes my liberal brethren can be really full of shit.  Sincerely.
Please.
Okay - I said my piece about this.  After this the snarks are back…

“One lump or two?”

Yes, I’m going to Hell.  We established this LONG ago…