CelebrityFIST!

Giving you a double dose cuz I’m depressed (see previous post)… (more…)

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This really sucks.  No really, ain’t joking.  Sucks to the infinitely suckage power.

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*sigh*

Okay, this past weekend while I was off I was thinking about who to put up for my ChaozBabe.  Had the usual lineup.  But then I remembered this one woman who stimulated my mind (among other parts).  But somehow she didn’t fall in with the previous lineup of ChaozBabes (which included models, strippers, pornstars, etc).  See, she’s smart.  I mean REALLY smart.  I love that in a woman.  I could see us having conversations together where I wasn’t faking shit.

(I mean it wasn’t like obsessive shit just - “Yeah I can see that” thinking)

So I decide I’m going to call her a “ChaozGODDESS” to differentiate her from the others and then spout off all the qualities that I dig about her.

Then I got the most terrible news of all…. 

(more…)

Courtney Love is VERY pissed off!  I’m not exactly sure about what - DARE YOU TO READ!  (MySpaceBlogs)

Eliza Dushku does another sexy photoshoot before her new show crashes and burns (Popoholic)

Kate Moss supposedly flashes nips again - I can’t see them (Celebslam)

Fred Durst still says he fucked (and fucked up) Britney (ContactMusic)

Hilary Duff goes to a casting call showing off her talents (HollywoodTuna)

Our (ok, MY) gal Lindsay Lohan is back - sorta.  Seems she’s finally figured out she has hadn’t a real job (as in acting) since 2007.  She tells US Weekly about the horrible state that puts her in:

Lindsay Lohan — who hasn’t appeared in a movie since 2007’s I Know Who Killed Me — says she’s looking for a job.

“It’s scary when you realize, ‘Oh my God, I’m not working. And I have a house to pay for now.’… and there’s been some things I’ve really wanted to do,” she says in April’s Nylon.

…like snort some coke, get drunk, eat cock…

“Like the one movie I’ve wanted to do for so long is Alice in Wonderland [directed by Tim Burton],” she continues. “But, um, that didn’t work out… it is what it is.”

…well, should could’ve played the Dodo - she’s good at making her career extinct.

So does she make the logical choice and enter porn?  Nah.  So what does she do instead?  She blogs. 

“I think I just got carried away,” she says. “Like writing about my relationships…I didn’t need to do that, because we [Samantha Ronson] weren’t broken up and that was silly. And then if that happens again, they expect me to say, ‘No,’ again, you know. And I get afraid of that.”

Lohan also takes a dig at Britney Spears, who’s currently touring the country on the back of her No. 1 album, Circus.

“She’s marketed as an entertainer, which is what she is,” Lohan says. “Not necessarily as, like, an artist. And I respect that about her, cause she doesn’t want to pretend.”

That maybe true Lindsay, but she is making SOME cash; which is more you can say for yourself.  Practice this phrase 30 times a day and you’ll get a job.

“You want fries with that?”

Pics from Nylon Magazine

Suspicously, her husband thinks her back needs to be hairier

Well the ’supposed’ big news surrounding Leann Rimes right now is that the reason she’s cheating on her husband (Dean Sheremet) is cuz her hubby has ‘teh ghey’.  Apparently this was verified by Dean’s ‘cousin Pebbles’:

After a woman identifying herself as Dean Sheremet’s “cousin Pebbles” phoned Michigan’s Mojo in the Morning show Friday and dished about their marriage and his sexuality, LeAnn Rimes’s rep tells Usmagazine.com: “There is no known cousin Pebbles.”

On the radio, the so-called “Pebbles ” declared that Sheremet “doesn’t care” that Rimes had an affair with her TV movie costar Eddie Cibrian because “he’s gay.” The woman also added, “He’s been gay since he was probably five.”

And Leann’s rep had a suitable response:

“Although Dean and LeAnn never knew they had a cousin named Pebbles, they are glad to hear that she has come out of the woodwork,” he says. “Dean and LeAnn are also interested in connecting with their other long lost family members: Fred, Wilma, Barney and Bamm-Bamm. So Pebbles, please let us know if you have spoken to them, too.” (Ibid.)

Okay, I’ll admit it - this news is boring as dried old shit.  She’s a beard?  Big deal.  Won’t be the first (or last).  The only reason I posted this though is because I find it funny how it’s all over the blog-o-sphere (which means its a REAL slow news day) and how this is probably just to hype up Rimes upcoming movie.  Hey it worked for Brad and Angelina, right?

Eh, to make up for it here’s some nice pics of Leann who really should no better than to marry a gay guy.

Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave…
Still in the shitmire that is my life.  Actually told a friend, “I’m bored, I’m gonna get a girl pregnant.”

He then proceed to smack me upside the head, for which I’m grateful.

Anyway, speaking of sticking it in - here’s Megan Fox doing …. well nothing really.  Which is now her basic problem.

Yes, she’s hot.  Yes, give me 24 hours with her, a bottle of Viagra, and an I.V.; I’d gladly turn her into a glazed donut (inside and out).  But …. she’s a sex toy as far as I can tell.  Little talent, little actual charisma, nice features and a shitload of ink.  Worth a tumble in the sack.  Hell ya.  But, make sure she leaves in the morning, ya know?

No I concede that my odds of banging her in reality are the same as winning the lottery.  Though if I DID win the lottery, THEN she’d probably bang. 

She’s the stripper who acts like she wants to fuck you really bad but its just an act so she can squeeze more money outta ya.  Take it from experience, there’s no fun in that!

I’ve decided that I’m having a nervous breakdown and a midlife crisis … or a midlife breakdown and a nervous crisis.

I forget which.

Actually, just want to punch someone for the next couple of years (insert Rihanna jokes here)…

Kate Moss at Annabel’s Club (yeah, the nipslips are elsewhere but I think we’ve all seen her tits in better shape)

Amy Adams - Black Book Magazine shoot (fulfilling our daily redhead requirement)

My favorite Asian Whorelywood ‘actress’, Bai Ling at Apple Lounge

                        

Kinda hectic today and tomorrow.  My big inventory is coming up tomorrow morning … at 6AM.  We all know how much i simply love getting up early.  This also means an early end to the day for me.  Sorry. 

Shenae Grimes (allegedly an actress) in yellow short shorts - gotta love it when they ride up (TVShark)

Odette Yustman - the “next Megan Fox“?  You make the call!  (Popoholic)

Rihanna, that better be a faux fur (DListed)

Celebrity Ass Cleavage - thank God they’re all women!  (CityRag)

Britney’s got a restraining order on Adnan Ghalib … for three years! (ICYDK)

Ever wanna see how pornstar Belladonna lives?  Me neither.  (DrunkenStepfather)

And… for no reason at all … Somebody’s hot ex jamming a black dildo in her holes (ExGfPics) - NSFW, duh