CelebrityFIST!

You gotta admire the conviction of a woman who colors her hair - and her pubes to match.

Here is Pinkie - and boy is she ever.  Enjoy! (more…)

No bullshit just nudity, ok? (more…)

OH - like YOU can tell the difference…

Apparently the Wet Republic (no, really that’s the name of the ‘club’ which is just annex to one of the casinos anyway) needed the ’star power’ of both of them hosting.  And by ‘hosting’ I mean ‘paid to sit around and so people can take pictures of themselves with the Kardashians in the background so they can pathetically say “Yay PaTEEING with Kim K!” (cause that’s the only one those dumb guests know) on Twitter’. 

Of course, while Khloe is doing her best Barney impersonation in that purple tent (or is she doing Grimace?).  Kourtney is ‘enjoy’ pending motherhood (bitch is 5 months pregnant, BTW - at least it ain’t yours).

The five-months’ pregnant star told People mag: “My boobs got huge right away. They got so sore, that if anyone even brushed up near me, I would scream.”

Thus far, the 30-year-old reality TV starlet has gained 10 pounds and she is happily “embracing” the excess weight pregnancy brings. “I feel like it’s such a beautiful thing, that every woman who goes though it, should embrace it,” she adds. “‘I think if you’re naturally skinny, and pregnant, and that’s how your body is, that’s fine. I don’t also want to sit there and eat cheeseburgers all night. I want to do what’s healthy for my baby.” (sauce)

Hmmm, maybe finding out who the daddy is would help the baby?

Anway here’s pics of the two idjits doing their ‘hosting’ duties and their pathetic guests…

BTW, don’t tell me about your tits being sore.  Given the opportunity I’ll run up and make a milk fountain outta her!

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What?  I’M A FUCKING PERVERT!! You guys knew this already, so don’t wuss out on my ass now! 

Well, we are SO fucked. (more…)

Eyes open is usually an extra $40.

You know, I’m gonna actually have to watch more TV and movies if I’m gonna report on this shit more often.  Otherwise, 99% of my posts are gonna basically be like this:

I don’t know who Kat Dennings is - I mean Wiki tells me she’s been in movies but unless its porn; I haven’t seen her in anything.    However she looks like she could do porn; or should do porn.

I actually had to check to make sure she was legal before saying that.  Jesus, I mean I can’t tell anymore.  Sixteen year olds look like 20 (Momsen) or 40 (Ali Lohan).  While legal ones look underage (like Dennings here).  I give up.  I’m just gonna have to have the phrase “MUST SHOW ID” on my dick before venturing out.  Ugh!

So here’s Kat at the premiere of Shorts (which I’m gonna assume she’s in) and it looks like its a kid-friendly movie at that since she poses with a bunch of kids at the premiere (which I have kindly deleted for you).

Reminds me - must buy milk tomorrow…

I don’t know much about Eva Amurri.  I mean I know she’s Susan Sarandon’s kid (which is fucking obvious; I mean LOOK AT THOSE PUPPIES!!! ) but other than that?  Zilch-o.

All I know is I would so play “World War II” with her - that is a two front war where I invade her southern flank while attempting to blitzkrieg across her face; all the while planning a secret invasion of Bungholia.

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Shit, just lost a division of paratroopers!!  Dammit I’ll be back…

God, Zeus, Buddha - just 10 5 3 2 minutes please!!!!

These are some pics of Danica McKellar (official ChaozGoddess and future ex-wife of Chaoz - uh, once she divorces her current husband ) at the opening night for Legally Blonde, the musical (*barf*).

Now, I have nothing against my goddess going out however she wants to.  Hell she go out naked if she wants!    BUT - uh, this white/turquoise/pink scheme gives me a headache.  I realize she used the pink in ‘tribute’ to the Legally Blond but … I dunno; just doesn’t look right to me.  I think she’s given up dressing in front of a mirror since she’s married now and doesn’t have to worry.

Otherwise, I think she’s gorgeous. 

True story:  back when I was in UT-Austin, I used to walk 20 blocks to the nearest comic shop (I’ve been a nerd for a VERY long time).  In between my dorm and said shop, there was like 3 massage parlors; and for the life of me I didn’t understand why they were:  1) so many of them in a short span, and 2) why they always looked kinda skuzzy. (more…)

Remember how I said remind me not to drink on a worknight again?  Yeah, fuck that.  Shitty day, humiliating day.  Drink’em if you got’em.  I know I am. (more…)

Today we go with a flashback.  Melanie Griffith from her P1ayb0y shoot from 1976.  Enjoy. (more…)