CelebrityFIST!

This one was perhaps a losing fight to start with (no pun intended).  She was my subordinate, the workplace was in turmoil and she had a sometime long-distance boyfriend.  In retrospect, my … ‘libido’ was telling me to have her stay but my ‘brain’ was telling her she needed to make the best decision for herself.

I feel (or like to feel) that I could have made her stay.  But I’m not THAT much of an asshole.  She eventually went to him, got married and (as far as I know) has lived happily together ever since.

Not gonna lie - I get chills just to hear this song.  Seven years later and she still has me.

Flashback: March 17, 2002 -

“Just tell me what I’ve done wrong?” 

“You’ve done nothing wrong.”

…

…

And with that I learned the hardest lesson of them all:  You can do everything right … you still can do it wrong.

…

A coworker ask me out of nowhere a week ago, innocently: “So what happened to the ring?”

Short story I told her I got it back.

Which is true.  But I didn’t tell her what I did with it.

I’ve told no one.

…

I threw the $1200 ring in the trash on the one year anniversary of our breakup.  Somehow it seemed appropriate.  Still does.

Okay - don’t know about you, but now I really need to get shitfaced.

Well, every road to Hell starts somewhere right?  My started in junior high school and would ultimately end a couple of years later.  I learned that love hurts.  ALOT.  So much so that it doesn’t get easier 17 times later.

I also learned that if a guy likes the girl you like … you DEFINITELY don’t tell the girl.  This is especially true if he’s older, bigger, and handsomer than you.

… yeah, I know this should be common sense.  But if you’ve learned anything about me at this point is that my sense is most UNCOMMON (if not downright weird).

BTW, unlike the other entries - this song has absolutely nothing to do with the lady in question.  See, she works in the music industry (if a VERY minor role) and the I can’t afford to blow my cover (insert blowjob joke here).  Hence the use of this song.

Ouch.  No, really - ouch.  Out of the 17, she was easily the most attractive.  She literally stopped traffic once as we walked to the car after a musical.  Worse(?) still, she was very down to earth.  Unfortunately, she knew that our personalities were simply not compatible at the time - even when I didn’t.  Even though we eventually drifted apart … I can’t really complain.

She was far smarter than she gave herself credit for and out of the 17, I truly hope she found someone better than me.

I tried.  I really really tried.  Or maybe I just tried too fuckin’ hard.  Or not hard enough.  Or not hard enough for long enough.  Or maybe she knew I preferred her friend (who I did mess with and got no further).

You know what?  I really don’t give a fuck anymore.  Suffice to say, it takes ALOT for me to say “fuck this” - she managed to pull it off.

This one was a hoot.  I would’ve given her the world - but all she wanted was rent (if you can dig what I’m sayin’).  She chose a greaseball loser who went broke.  She got beat up by a bunch of trannies (true story).

Every once in a while, karma wins out.

Okay I’m just getting this shit off my chest so you can just ignore it for the next 13 or so posts (or till I get bored).  I promise nothing good will come out of this until tomorrow.  Cool?

I concede this one hurt for awhile.  And I learned for the first time that given a choice between the Unknown and the Devil They Know…

Women will inevitably choose the Devil.

Sadly, a lesson I get the opportunity to learn several more times.

Okay, I fucked up on this one - literally and figuratively.  Everybody gets too fucking lonely once in a while.  Actually she wasn’t so bad.  She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose … from a mile away.  Too bad she got greedy

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