CelebrityFIST!

*sigh* Today has not been a fun day.  In fact, today’s been a generally crap day.  “Shit on a shit sandwich” I believe is the phrase.  So, for today; no show, no snark.  Just pics.  While I mope and brood over here.

Notes:

• T-Bone Burnett won best song
• Molly Ringwald & Matthew Broderick introduce a tribute John Hughes.  Nicely done.
• Something weird happened during the speech for Best Documentary Short.  But I’m not sure what.
• Ben Stiller comes out as one of those Avatar thingies (with tail!).  A million geeks just came.
• Star Trek wins Best Makeup - somewhere Bill Shatner is saying “THAT SHOULD BE MIIIINE!“
• Robin Williams subs for Heath Ledger for the Best Supporting Actress intros.  Interesting choice.

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More notes:

• Kathy Ireland interviews Miley Cyrus - their collective IQs almost reaches double-digits
• Neil Patrick Harris is the coolest gay guy around.  (Really)
• Steve Martin makes a Nazi/Jew joke - it goes over flatly (gee wonder why)

Orsi Kocsis; various

Tiffany Tyler; Blue Jeans

Anna Torv; Esquire US

Chrissy Moran; red bikini

Maria Menounos; Tomb Raider premeire (07/2003)

Well rather than live-blogging the Oscars I’ll just be interjecting here and there with random notes … throw a bunch of celebrities your way so you won’t get bored.  And neither will I:

For example watching the red carpet here:

• Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a tanned skeleton
• Morgan Freeman looks like a pimp
• Jennifer Lopez enjoys the Oscars (especially since her label dropped her ass)
• Whoopie Goldberg tries to do a funny commercial about pissing in her pants - and fails (of course).

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Gonna put up another Eternal Summer post tonight but right now I have a pounding headache from last night and going back to bed and puke (not in that order, I hope).  Til then joy the women from around the world.  Remember love is not the international language.  Sex is!   (more…)

In case you’re wondering I will pay a price for all this drinking tomorrow.  See I have to finish prepping my work for inventory and  - well, what’s left of me won’t be pretty.  The good news is that I don’t have to go til 6pm so i still have (looks at clock) 20 hours to recuperate.  Truth is that I’ll need MORE than that to recover.  Sober up?  No problem.  Recover?  Uh, minor problem.  I remember I leave work at 9pm, go to the strip club, get some dances, get drunk, get a blowjob, go home, and go to work the next MORNING.  Now?  I’m lucky if I get to the “drunk” part.  Really. 

Ah youth is wasted on the young… (more…)

Okay, I’m still looking for stuff for our nightly news segment but stumbled across this.  She’s too hot in this set for a Celeb Goodies post so she gets a solo shot.  I give you Eve Wyrwal in Nuts UK.  Which month?  WHO CARES!   (more…)

Sorry had to go get some beer to take with my Xanax … mmm, “Quadruple Equis” is gooooooood….
Okay, here’s a second dose for today (since the first was at about 1am).  Enjoy!

Laetitia Casta … Audrina Partridge …  Jennifer Love Hewitt … Marisa Miller … Amanda Seyfried

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Maybe I should have someone write this shit when I go on my little hiatuses (hiati?).  Anyway, sorry for the last few days AWOL.  Friday night thru Monday morning I was either drunk, hungover, and for awhile - both (not a recommended condition).

Today, I didn’t get outta work til midnight so here I am getting ready to go to bed and I’ve got nothing. 

Well, lets see what I can pull outta my ass.  Hold on…

Oh yeah, how about the magazine Celebrity Skin (#170)?  Sixty pages of celebrity nudity.

Really you can’t beat that.  Enjoy! (more…)

Well, I’m six beers in.  Fortunately I have backup (’shows’ twelve pack box)…

Valerie Cormier, Valygirl

Sofi A; On The Stairs

A Rosie Jones compilation just to fuck shit up…

Some unknown platinum blonde that doesn’t make me forget The Ex right now. 

Lastly, Susann, Fishing