CelebrityFIST!

*sigh* Today has not been a fun day.  In fact, today’s been a generally crap day.  “Shit on a shit sandwich” I believe is the phrase.  So, for today; no show, no snark.  Just pics.  While I mope and brood over here.

Apologies for not being around for the last oh 5 days.  Not that anyone noticed except the 5 of you who show up (and if you read this thanks for sticking around).  Anyhoo, Sunday (despite me sounding like a drunk) I ate some leftover pizza.  No biggie.

Monday, I ate the same leftover pizza - which I forgot to refrigerate the entire time.  Then the state regulatory guys came by to check out the place (normal procedure but always come by unannounced).  This left my stomach turning.

Tuesday, had inventory, and crappy stomach and difficult keeping anything.  After inventory, went to the strip club, got shit faced (because I’m a fucking lunatic) and taught a lesbian how to give a blowjob (because I’m fucking twisted like that).  Went home threw up passed out.

Wednesday, barely made it to work (still puking and squirting).

Yesterday was off (thank god) - friend gave me some stuff he had for said pukes and squirts

Today, feeling a little better.  I can only assume that I had some sorta food poisoning - coupled with alcohol intoxication, exhaustion, and stress.

… God I love life. 

Anyway, I’m not dead - I’m getting better.  But not wanting you all to be left out I decided to give a video metaphor on how I felt.  So the closest I could find was Kirsten Dunst singing “Turning Japanese“.  I kinda like the video (which of course means I’m still not well yet) - but I’m sure you’ll find her singing to be puke-inducing.  Enjoy!(?)

It’s a showdown between Avatar and The Hurt Locker.

Who wins? Who wins?

…

…

…

THE HURT LOCKER

FUCK AVATAR

FUCK AVATAR

FUCK AVATAR

Why did they get Mecha-Streisand to introduce the Director category?  My guess it’s Kathryn Bigelow and sisters need to represent.

…

And the winner is - Kathryn Bigelow

Big surprise.  By the way - she’s hot as hell boys.  So you may want to get gussied up.

Oprah Winfrey makes a guest appearance as she introduces Gabourey Sidibe.  Gabourey breaks out in tears from Oprah’s tribute.  It was kinda cool since she’s a newbie.

Plus as much as I hate to say it, Meryl Streep has grown on me.  I used to hate her back in the 70’s.  Now?  She’s kinda hot as a comedic actress.  Stanley Tucci jokes that he wants to cap the nominations at 16 so no one has to tribute Meryl Streep.

oh yeah, the winner is …

Sandra Bullock

Like that was a surprise.  Also I hate to say it I find her fuckable now too.  Maybe its must me getting older.  I dunno.

Still More fucking Notes:

• Best Foreign Film - El Secreto De Sus Ojos (The Secret In Their Eyes) - Argentina

Finally!  They get to the big awards.  Thank God - means its almost over.

Oh yeah and the weiner is…

JEFF BRIDGES

Amen brother!  Yipee!

More Notes:

• Best Documentary Feature:  The Cove (too bad - I was hoping Food, Inc. would win).  Suprisingly Fisher Stevens is now an Oscar winner (he was in “Short Circuit“)
• Best Editing:  The Hurt Locker

Here’s a trailer for The Hurt Locker BTW in case you’ve been under a rock for a year.